VILLAGE MEMORIAL

Soul legend - Etta James dies with family by her side at 73.

2012-01-20T10:40:00.001-08:00

Ms. James was inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in 1993, she won 17 Blues Music Awards 6 Grammy’s and two of her songs were inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame in 1999.

She is survived by her husband Artis Mills and two sons Donto and Sametto.

Fond Farewell - Ronald Searle (1920-2011)

2012-01-03T14:09:00.000-08:00

English cartoonist, Ronald Searle, has died at his home in Southern France. Although he sold his first drawing at age 15, he was most well known for his work on the cartoon series, "St. Trinian's", which featured an upper-class British boarding school complete with disorderly students and unscrupulous instructors. In addition to being featured in over 115 books, Mr. Searle drawings appeared in "New Yorker", "Life" and "Life and Punch" magazines. During World War II, Mr. Searle spent 3.5 years in as a Prisoner of War, inspiring him to produce many drawings depicting the conditions in the camp.

Mr. Searle's work was said to have influenced the artists who worked on the animated film "101 Dalmations", as well as the comic strip "The Far Side." Mr. Searles work can be viewed at the German Museum for Caricature and Drawing in Hanover, where he donated 2,200 of his works on permanent loans. Ronal Searle was 91.

Video Interview with Ronald Searle

Fond Farewell - Harry Morgan (1915-2011)

2011-12-08T23:27:00.000-08:00

Emmy Award winning actor, Harry Morgan has died from complications with pneumonia. Although his career spanned 60 years, over 100 movies, and included radio shows, Harry was best known for his roles on the television series "M*A*S*H" and "Dragnet."

In the video below, Harry discusses the filming the final episode of M*A*S*H.

Fond Farewell - James Van Doren (1939-2011)

2011-11-13T09:17:00.000-08:00

James Van Doren, designer of the popular skateboard shoe company, Vans, died from cancer on October 12. In 1966, James started the Van Doren Rubber Company in Anaheim, California which made rubber-soled canvas shoes. James ran the company from 1976 to 1984 and helped to innovate the special clingy sole that made the shoe popular with the skateboard culture. The popularity of the shoe was furthered by the film "Fast Times at Ridgemont High". In the film, Jeff Spicoli, the main character, a wise-cracking, slacker, wears checkerboard Vans slip-ons. James Van Doren was 72.

Fond Farewell - Heavy D (1967 - 2011)

2011-11-09T07:39:00.000-08:00

Jamaican-born Hip-Hop artist, Heavy D, who called himself the "overweight lover", has died due to respiratory problems. Although Heavy D was one of the top rap stars during the 1980's, with 3 platinum records in the US, his career spanned 25 years in rap, record producing, acting and singing. He worked with both Michael Jackson and Janet Jackson, and sang the theme songs for the television shows "In Living Color" and "MADtv." Heavy D was only 44 years old.

Fond Farewell - Joe Frazier (1944-2011)

2011-11-08T07:37:00.000-08:00

American Boxing legend Joe Frazier has died from liver cancer. "Smokin' Joe" won 32 out of 37 fights during his boxing career, 27 of which were Knock Outs. In 1996, he wrote an autobiography called "Smokin' Joe: The Autobiography of a Heavyweight Champion of the World, Smokin' Joe Frazier". In recent years until 2009, Mr. Frazier owned a boxing gym where he trained young boxers. Former rival, Muhummad Ali upon hearing of his death said - "The world has lost a great champion. I will always remember Joe with respect and admiration."

Fond Farewell - Andy Rooney (1919-2011)

2011-11-05T19:06:00.000-07:00

New York native, Andy Rooney has died at age 92. Mr. Rooney's 62-year-long career spanned roles as a reporter, writer, and producer. Andy Rooney never shied away from sharing his heart spoken opinions on controversial topics and he never pulled a punch. He even received three Emmy Awards for his commentaries. His clarity of vision was the mainstay of his 33-year-long career on the popular news series, "60 Minutes." He received a Lifetime Achievement award in 2003.

Below, Andy Rooney speaks on modern art. He has proven to us that he has earned the right to his confidence and bravado. Andy Rooney died Friday night at New York hospital after complications from minor surgery.

Fond Farewell - Steve Jobs (1955-2011)

2011-10-05T17:21:00.000-07:00

Steve Jobs, former CEO, chairman, and co-founder of Apple Inc. has died. He fought pancreatic cancer in the mid 2000's and received a liver transplant in 2009. Steve Jobs helped found Apple computers in the late 1970s and served on the board of the Walt Disney Company. Before Disney acquired Pixar, he owned 50.1% of the animation studio. He resigned from Apple on August 24, 2011.

Apple's statement upon his death was: "We are deeply saddened to announce that Steve Jobs passed away today. Steve's brilliance, passion and energy were the source of countless innovations that enrich and improve all of our lives. The world is immeasurably better because of Steve. His greatest love was for his wife, Laurene, and his family. Our hearts go out to them and to all who were touched by his extraordinary gifts."

Books: Jeannie Out of the Bottle by Barbara Eden

2011-09-24T09:00:00.000-07:00

If you remember Barbara Eden and "I Dream of Jeannie" this is a good read. Barbara Eden shares her story of how she began in show business, and how she landed her role on "I Dream of Jeannie." She discusses her career as she has grown older, some interactions with other stars, as well as her relationships/marriages. She also covers some very difficult topics - losing a child to drug abuse, losing a baby in the womb (stillborn), and surviving an abusive relationship.

Throughout the book, Ms. Eden recalls her mother's words of encouragement to her: "Rise above it Barbara Jean" and you can't help but realize that she has taken those words to heart. Her hard work and strength despite some very difficult tragedies is both empowering and encouraging.

Books: Transition by Chaz Bono

2011-09-23T12:42:00.000-07:00

Chaz Bono's book is an honest, open glimpse of what life is like when
a person lives with gender identity issues. Chaz spends most of his life in a difficult limbo, before making a very brave decision to transition from Female-to-Male.

The challenges that arise from this life-changing decision are major. Chaz fears rejection by loved ones, losing his romantic relationship, and additional complications that being in the spotlight create. Chaz faces the most difficulty in his relationship with his mother, Cher, as one might imagine any person changing genders would likely face the most judgement from their parents. However, Chaz's lessons shared are worthwhile to anyone questioning gender reassignment or simply questioning what transgender means.

There is clarity, wisdom and strength that comes with Chaz's decison to transition. He makes important realizations including, "I had to start making choices in my life that were based on me, my needs, my desires..." and "It wasn't my job to make them okay; they had to make themselves okay with me."

Chaz also finds that life after transitioning is easier and a bit more comfortable in many ways. Chaz closes the book with a very positive and encouraging message "If you're letting fear stop you from transitioning, or from doing something else that you've always wanted or needed to do, then don't. Fears are not facts. With a little time and effort, they can be
overcome, worked through, and conquered."

The message in Chaz's book is pure and simple - be true to yourself.

Bono, C. (2011). "Transition: The Story of How I Became a Man."
Dutton, New York, NY.

Who is Walter Karabian?

2011-08-20T15:52:00.000-07:00

I've been using rescued potholder for about a year. I retrieved it from my grandparents' kitchen when they moved into assisted living. My mother, who believes in keeping only new things, had already tossed out all the cast iron frying pans and skillets before my arrival. But, I was able to salvage two old wooden rolling pins, miscellaneous utensils and some potholders (like this one).

Today, as I was removing the lid to a pot of boiling beans, I became curious about the printing on this particular potholder as I set it down print-side up.

Who is Walter Karabian?

From a Google search, I found Mr. Karabian, listed on USC's History Alumni page. Walter Karabian was a California State Assemblyman from between 1966 and 1975 and is now a practicing lawyer in Los Angeles, CA at Karms & Karabian.

Obviously this potholder was a campaign giveaway during his 1960's election, and it was a clever choice, considering my family kept and used it in their kitchen ever since. Funny how one piece of bric-a-brac uncovered a small slice of California's history for me.

I continually implore my father to record stories about the mementos he has packed away in miscellaneous boxes in the garage. So much history exists within our elders that won't be accessible when they are are no longer with us. We aren't always lucky enough to have something printed on each item. I look forward to asking my grandfather his what he thought of Mr. Karabian's campaign and why he saved his potholder.
So if there is anything to take away from this clever little potholder, it's a reminder to record our stories today.

Ref:
http://dornsife.usc.edu/hist/alumni/

The Golden Age of Sex

2011-08-18T18:22:00.000-07:00

Erica Jong’s notes how speaking about sex and seniors seems to be a taboo in mainstream media. She says, “You won’t find many movies or TV shows about 70-year-olds falling in love, though they may be doing it in real life.”

So why are younger generations surprised that older adults want to have sex?

Not My Parents
My mother, a registered RN for 25 years, refuses to accept that her parents, my grandparents, still want to have a sexual relationship even though they are in assisted living.

When my grandfather asked the nurse in their facility to help him get a prescription for Viagra, she was surprised by his request. She called my mom, to ask if my grandparents were still "sexually active", my mom emphatically denied they were and said my grandfather was crazy and to just forget about his request.

I was appalled. Having just completed the book Making Rounds with Oscar: The Extraordinary Gift of an Ordinary Catwhich discussed sex after dementia and how patients with dementia can change to become more sexually demanding, I sent her a copy of the book, hoping she would get the idea, from a geriatrician with expertise.

After she finished the book I asked her about it. She conveniently ignored (or 'blocked out' as she put it) the story about the couple and the change in sex life after dementia. She said she didn't want to think of her parents that way.

I encouraged her to allow my grandfather's request to fill the prescription. I tried to reason with her that even though my grandmother was always an innocent Golden Girls "Rose Nyland" type before dementia, perhaps she is now more of a "Blanche Deveraux". She had a laugh over it, but it wasn’t enough to sway her. My thought is that sex and seniors is a difficult topic when the seniors in question happen to be your own parents.

Grandma's Boyfriend
My husband's grandmother had an intimate relationship with a wheelchair-bound man at her assisted living home. When she found out the man was actually seeing many women in the facility at the same time, she was very upset by it. She withdrew from the relationship and hid from her neighbors for a couple months. The pain in learning her boyfriend had many girlfriends was compounded by the fact that she seemed to be the only one who didn't know it. His other girlfriends even teased her about it.

Although she wanted to break up with him because she wanted a monogamous relationship, she decided not to. She figured it was worth more to her to keep the relationship. Her boyfriend died last month after a relationship that lasted several years, and although she conducted his funeral, she never did tell his family about their intimate relationship. She did however confide to us that while she was glad to have known him, she won't be doing that again.

New Books
What is wonderful is to see books like Joan Price’s, “Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex” bringing to light the topic of ageless sexuality in light of the physical changes that occur with aging. In the book, she not only includes readers' stories, but also information from 45 sex experts, doctors and health professionals.

New Risks: HIV/AIDS
An additional consideration for seniors having sex is the increasing number of HIV and Aids cases occurring. These generations were not raised with all the safe sex education and marketing that the younger generations take for granted. A recent article says that by 2015 the majority of HIV/Aids patients will be 50 years of age and older. The new health focus will be to help seniors protect themselves from contracting the virus and from passing on the virus. It will be important to get seniors tested for HIV with quick, discreet home test kits to hopefully stop the spread of the disease, to provide better distribution of information to older adults about safer sex, and to better advertise senior prophylactics alongside products already aimed at active seniors, like Viagra.

Amazon.com Widgets

References:
http://www.newjerseynewsroom.com/healthquest/sex-and-seniors-get-erica-jongs-attention
http://www.pressdemocrat.com/article/20110806/LIFESTYLE/110809620?Title=-8216-Senior-sexpert-8217-shatters-a-sexual-taboo&tc=ar

Memorial Art Therapy

2011-08-11T00:35:00.000-07:00

Art and its Usefulness as Therapy

Art is a form of communication, traditionally a visual language or assemblage of marks, sounds, ideas or feelings, which may not be communicable as interestingly, or provocatively in written form. Art therapy is a branch of art focused on an individual’s subjective, introspective experience of creating the art. The soothing and cathartic experience for the maker of the art and its lack of expectations make it an accessible and sought after form of therapy for those seeking emotional release from a grief experience.

Art therapy assists the bereaved to gain insight about themselves through the making of art. The art therapist conducts not to critique the art produced, but to evaluate and support survivors’ needs to come to terms with an emotional trauma that is otherwise too painful to investigate through other forms of therapy. The art provides a space of projection, a filter for comfortable self-examination that can be enjoyable and approachable for all participants.

Although we all share a human experience, because of culture, social stratification, the individuality of experience requires the establishment of a baseline from which to evaluate emotional wellness, world constructs, attitudes and outlook. Art media serves as a tool of experiential control for therapy. Additionally, symbols reveal associations and metaphors. Under the guidance of an art therapy counselor, the bereaved can use various media to express feelings related to their grief that would otherwise be too difficult to confront in a safe and or approachable manner. The art allows them to separate the event and or feelings from themselves to gain insight and perspective.

Working with Bereaved Couples

“Change creates loss and grief is how we react.” When one person in the relationship is ready to move on but the other is not, one person can crush the other’s self-esteem or prevent the grieving person from working through their grief at a healthy pace. Unreasonable expectations can lead to animosity and negative or destructive behavior. Working with couples to achieve understanding is of utmost importance because an unhealthy recovery from bereavement can lead to the disintegration of the relationship. Inadequate social or psychic support in events such as SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome), conflicted feelings after a suicide, or ambiguous unresolved losses like a kidnapping or runaway, often manifest in difficulties in sustaining the relationship. These types of loss are especially traumatic on relationships due to a lack of coping skills. Results from these losses may be low self-esteem, depression, questioning of one’s own faith, sleep disorders, poor impulse control, drug abuse, and other types of chronic emotional pain.

According to Rogers, “Grief is inherent in living – a part of our human experience. It does not need to be ‘fixed,’ ‘treated,’ or ignored. Grief needs to be lived as a normal emotional response to loss. It will be unique to each of us and there is no ‘normal’ timetable to ‘complete’ the process. Emotional trauma can lead to unhealthy coping behaviors that further put strain on relationships. Signs that a loss is not fully being resolved are mummification of the deceased’s room, or intense psychological responses to the deceased’s name coming up in conversation. When a partner’s mourning process is disregarded by the other partner, their family, and or friends, the misunderstanding leads to isolation, and intense psychological pain.

According to Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’ five stages of grief theory, grievers heal at different rates, passing through the stages of grief inconsistently. Each person will process grief differently and this can lead to problems in communication, resulting in negative interactions. For example, one spouse may be in denial of a loss and unwilling to accept the truth, while bargaining with God to bring back a lost loved one. The other spouse who has accepted the loss may have fallen into a depression. Consequentially, neither is able to meet on the same level with the loss and their inner world is threatened, with feelings of helplessness and isolation. This can sometimes lead to self-destructive behavior or betrayal, with the added risk of the relationship ending.

Sometimes a spouse can be a reminder of a traumatic event or loss. He or she may physically look a lot like the lost love one or he or she may have broke a sacred confidence that will never be regained. Bereavement can also be tied to an addiction, incarceration, domestic abuse, gambling, infidelity, etc. One may not bear to see, hear or be reminded of them without flashing back to the distress. In such cases, if the relationship is to survive, couples must find a new normalcy of living and establish a mutual respect and understanding of each other’s grief surrounding the loss event.

Couples can share unresolved anger and guilt through art making. Art allows survivors to objectify pain and healing from their bereavement through discussion and symbolism. Art allows the bereaved to express issues that may never have been addressed. Therefore, the survivor recovers because the making of art gives power to the artist. The introspective nature of the art necessitates nonjudgmental discussions in a safe, and supportive environment. Although the loss event may always be lying silently under the surface, relationships can emerge stronger when grief issues are transcended.

Group Dynamics

Bereavement groups bring trauma survivors of diverse personalities together in a dynamic setting of openness and self-expression. However, to maintain a healthy healing environment for group members, art therapists must manage the various strengths and weaknesses to provide effective therapy sessions. Therapists must be cautious about dysfunctional personalities to prevent them from derailing activities and must also place a priority on keeping the calm, therapeutic atmosphere necessary for effective grief work to be accomplished. Effective therapy groups collaborate well together and support one another to achieve their individual and collective emotional growth and wellbeing.

The bereavement coordinator may not have much flexibility as to who is a part of the group. Group members will often be of varying levels of maturity in their grieving process and personalities may clash due to the dynamic material engaged in the therapy work. Thus “in the various weekly sessions with each new expressive art there may be discussion on reconstruction of meaning.” The individual personalities within the group can add to facilitating or impeding growth. One goal as an art therapy group facilitator is to recognize group members’ emotional states and personal limitations, which reactions are normal or abnormal, and how to guide group activities towards promoting growth, personal wellbeing, and a supportive environment that facilitates grief work being undertaken.

In discussing group dynamics, Rogers (2007) discusses different personality archetypes encountered in the bereavement group setting including:

• The Advice giver – Use of domineering language

• The Self Righteous Faith Moralizer – Use of guilt or supernatural unknown to manipulate behaviors.

• The Talker – A self-absorbed person who monopolizes the group’s time seeking approval.

• The Challenger – A person who looks for fault with everything.

• The Small Talk – A person who uses chitchat to avoid uncomfortable topics.

• Speaker of the group - An overpowering personality speaking out of turn and thereby taking over the group.

The therapist’s understanding of these common personality manifestations is vital to plan each session to avoid dangerous situations. As Rogers points out, “as family, friends, and caregivers, the only gift we have to offer those who are grieving is the quality of our attention.” So an art therapist must manage the personalities of their groups as well as facilitate effective therapy. “Combining the support of the group and the use of physical and creative activities offer the grievers what they need most: acceptance and nonjudgmental listening.”

As Rogers points out, “the final session is Ritual, which is designed to bring the course together and allow healing through creative expression and ritual.” A grief group session may be closed out with the making of art and or a review of the art created. This art may be related to the discussions of the day, and can be an enjoyable conclusion to each session that group members will look forward to. The repetition of the activity also allows members to collect their thoughts and investigate feelings and or ideas in a group setting and nonjudgmental collective manner.

Ref:

Rogers, E. J. (2007). The Art of Grief: The Use of Expressive Arts in a Grief Support
Group. New York, NY: Taylor & Frances Group, LLC.
Kubler-Ross, E. (1969). On Death and Dying. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster

Books: Making Rounds with Oscar by David Dosa, M.D.

2011-08-09T00:40:00.000-07:00

In Making Rounds with Oscar, geriatrician Dr. David Dosa focuses on the nuances of Alzheimer’s disease and dementia. Of Dr. Dosa's patient stories, I found most intriguing the story of a woman with dementia named Ruth Rubenstein and her doting husband, Frank Rubenstein. I have focused on the details of their relationship as chronicled by Dr. Dosa, as it clearly illustrates how dementia affects relationships from diagnosis through decline.

Diagnosis
“I had to look into the eyes of the eighty-year-old woman I had just examined and ruin her life.” Dr. Dosa is examining Mrs. Rubenstein to determine if she has dementia. Couples like Ruth Rubenstein and her husband Frank have a symbiotic relationship whereby one can deflect the questions to the other. So when asked about her favorite restaurant, Ruth does just this – she has her husband answer the question. Dr. Dosa is not deterred by this attempt at covering up her memory loss, and moves on to asking her next to draw a clock from memory. Ruth does this after some coaxing. However, when asked to place the hands at 2:45, she puts the little hand at the two and the minute hand half way between the 4 and the 5.

Next Dr. Dosa asks her how many four legged animals she can list in one minute. Ruth lists only 6 and cat was listed twice. When asked to spell the word ‘world,’ Ruth is able to do so quickly and accurately but she cannot spell it backwards, and gets only two of the letters in place when she tries.

Privately, Dr. Dosa asks her husband more specific questions including if she has done anything dangerous in her everyday living, like leaving the bath running, leaving the stove on, having car accidents or fender benders, or if any other changes in her behavior have occurred. This particular section reminded me of a good friend whose mother had consistently been hitting the curbs and sometimes parked cars at her assisted living facility. My friend had the hardest time convincing her mother to give up driving. Independence is hard to part with, but the dangerous facts spoke for themselves. My friend finally scheduled a meeting with her mother’s doctor, so together she and the doctor could address her health issues in relation to her ability to drive.

Aging and Memory
During Dr. Dosa’s examination of Ruth she tries to insists her memory loss is simply because she is old, but memory does not decline due to simple aging. Here, Dr. Dosa touches on the fact that “age really has nothing to do with memory, and problems with memory are never normal aging.” In fact, many problems like arthritis, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, adult-onset diabetes, and some cancers are contributed with aging, simply because they usually occur in people’s senior or elder years. Interestingly, these are not strict aging related health issues, but rather the effects of years of build-up in the body, allowing the problems to surface in later life. For instance, if one has smoked for 50 years of their life, it makes sense that the damage would in time catch up producing perhaps emphysema or lung cancer in one’s 60’s or 70’s. In fact, my grandmother who began smoking at age 16 did not get emphysema until she was in her early to mid 70’s.

Decline Begins
Dr. Dosa chronicles the decline of Ruth’s mental health via dementia. First Ruth’s memory impairs her social graces and embarrassed by her memory loss, she withdraws from her friends. The withdrawal causes a depression, which is then treated by medication. Next Ruth becomes unable to complete household chores, meals are frequently burnt, simple recipes become too difficult to manage, and her husband Frank must resort to hiring a maid and ordering meals out.

Romance Flourishes
What is interesting is that despite this decline, the Rubenstein’s relationship remains loving and dementia even spices up their love life. Dr. Dosa said, “One day…Frank pulled me aside…like a young teen sheepishly buying condoms for the first time, he asked me if I had any samples for something that might help his impotence." Frank was having trouble meeting his wife’s sexual demands, which Dr. Dosa explains is not unusual for married couples when one has dementia.

Caregiving Becomes Too Difficult
However, as Ruth’s mental decline gets worse, it becomes apparent to Dr. Dosa that Frank can no longer care for her. Frank appears unwashed, disheveled and exhausted. Although Frank takes offense at Dr. Dosa’s suggestion that he put his wife in a skilled nursing facility, he takes the suggestion to heart and hires an in-home caregiver.

Health Declines
Not long after, Ruth contracts pneumonia and is hospitalized. Her memory impairment makes the hospital stay difficult. She wanders about in the middle of the night, gets “tangled in her IV tubing” and falls “awkwardly to the floor.” The fall leaves her with a broken hip requiring surgery. The surgery leaves Ruth with more health issues. She “suffered a pulmonary embolus and became less stable.” When her breathing becomes difficult, they intubate her. Her health does eventually improve but it leaves her too weak to walk and her husband Frank must consent to place her in the skilled nursing facility.

Appetite Declines
In the skilled nursing facility, Ruth stops eating and loses 10 pounds. Her husband insists that she is seen by a gastroenterologist, and refuses to consider hospice. She again contracts pneumonia and returns to the hospital. During this stay she is given strong medications to calm her. Eventually a one-to-one aide is then assigned to keep her from getting up from the bed and falling during the night.

She returns from the hospital, but is too confused to eat and refuses to do so. Intravenous fluids are required to sustain her. She experiences a confused delirium and agitation from hospitalization and refuses to eat. Her husband Frank insists that she must eat, and requests a feeding tube. However, Dr. Dosa kindly reminds him “When your wife was still able to speak her mind she told me she didn’t want a feeding tube to help her with her nutrition. Shouldn’t we honor her wishes?” Frank agrees with Dr. Dosa to honor his wife’s wishes, but begins to cry saying, “Doctor, I’m not ready for her to go.”.

Misconceptions About Feeding Tubes
Here, Dr. Dosa explains the misconceptions with feeding tubes and how they are the point of contention with most families. Most people believe that the feeding tubes prolong life, but Dr. Dosa points out that there is “no place for feeding tubes in terminal dementia. Objectively they have never been shown to increase a person’s length of life or reduce the number of episodes of pneumonia. Feeding tubes are not without their side effects.” Although people believe that not feeding a patient is “cruel and unusual punishment”, Dr. Dosa points out that “loss of weight at the end of life is a natural by product of the body shutting down as it prepares itself for death. People at this stage do not perceive hunger or thirst the way someone who is healthy” does.

Health, Love & Appetite Appear to Return
Some days later, Ruth’s delirium improves and she starts eating again. She and Frank are seen walking down the hallway holding hands. When their anniversary date comes up, Frank asks for privacy so he can be alone with Ruth. Dr. Dosa notes that “requests for privacy between patients and spouses are not uncommon…they’re a married couple. Just because she lives here doesn’t mean that they don’t have needs.” Interestingly, what Dr. Dosa finds out from the head nurse is that another male patient has been spending a great deal of time in Ruth’s room and that Ruth likes his attention.

Spouse Forgotten
Within a few minutes of husband Frank’s arrival, Ruth screams and rushes out of her room. “The look on her face was one of pure terror and she ran past us without stopping.” Her husband Frank calls Dr. Dosa into the room and explains their relationship and what just occurred.

Frank and Ruth had met at a concentration camp in 1943. They spent nine months together until they were sent away to different camps. Before the separation they agreed that if they survived, they would look for each other to meet at a church courtyard in Frank’s hometown. That date they met up was 63 years ago that day; this was the anniversary Frank had come to celebrate, but instead of a celebration he was met with a shock. “’For the first time since that day, Ruth does not know who I am.’” When he bent to kiss her forehead, he said “’in her eyes all I could see was terror…I was a stranger to her. She just started screaming…I put my hand up to comfort her and she slapped me in the face. Then she got up and ran out of the room.”

Existential Death
Frank then said, “Doctor, in my mind my wife died today…please just make whatever is left of her [life] comfortable and don’t let her suffer anymore.”

Somatic Death
Frank never returned to the nursing facility after this day, and within a few weeks, he died of a heart attack. Ruth outlived him by just a couple of months, and without any children, “her lawyer was the closest thing she had to next of kin.”

Although Dr. Dosa’s chronicle of the Rubenstein’s relationship is not met with a happy ending, it is an honest portrayal of how dementia takes its toll on patients and their families.

Dosa, D. (2010) Making Rounds with Oscar: The Extraordinary Gift of an Ordinary Cat. New York: Hyperion

Happy 100th Birthday Lucy!

2011-08-06T16:43:00.000-07:00

Today Lucille Ball would have turned 100 years old. It's hard to believe she's been gone over 22 years, having died at age 77 in 1989. Lucy still seems very much 'with' us. She has remained with us throughout the years due to the success and syndication of her and husband Desi Arnaz's television series 'I Love Lucy' which originally ran from the fall of 1951 to Spring of 1957.

I grew up watching 'I Love Lucy' in re-runs, and later on purchasing the entire series on DVD. I've memorized most (if not all) of the dialogue and often (almost daily) refer to different portions of episode story lines when reflecting on things that happen in my own life. I believe the success of 'I Love Lucy' was not only due to the extraordinary talents of Lucille Ball, Desi Arnaz, Vivian Vance and William Frawley, or to the brilliant foresight of Desi Arnaz to film the episodes with 3 cameras simultaneously on durable 35mm film, but to the quality of the show to accurately depict American life.

Although the show was in actuality fictional, many of the story lines were simply an exaggeration of real life. They poked fun at the ups and downs of life in America. I've often wished I'd been alive during the run of 'I Love Lucy.' The 1950's era society of 'I Love Lucy' detracts nothing from the messages we see in the show. Society is still society, and people in it still contend with all the ups and downs portrayed so many years ago in the series, making 'I Love Lucy' a timeless piece of work. It remains the longest-running show to continually air in the Los Angeles area, for over 50 years after it ended. Thus, we can only expect that Lucille Ball 'Lucy' will continue to 'live' on through this show for many years to come.

Books: If You Ask Me (And of Course You Won't) by Betty White

2011-08-02T20:38:00.000-07:00

In If You Ask Me, Ms. White explores her a variety of life experiences and favorite stories. Sections of interest specifically exploring aging and health were the sections on “Growing Older,” “Health,” “Loss,” and the last chapter titled, “I’m Eighty-Nine?”

In “Growing Older,” Ms. White opens with the idea that “if one is lucky enough to be blessed with good health, growing older shouldn’t be something to complain about. It’s not a surprise, we knew it was coming – make the most of it.” She goes on to say, “So you may, not be as fast on your feet, and the image in the mirror may be a little disappointing but if you are still functioning and not in pain, gratitude should be the name of the game.”

In “Health,” Ms. White discusses maintaining her weight: “I make it a point to never let my weight vary more than five pounds in either direction.” About vision she says, “I wear glasses to read or to drive.” For her exercise regimen, she has had the luxury of having “a two-story house and a bad memory, so all those trips up and down the stairs take care of my exercise.” Ms. White also keeps herself busy with crossword puzzles, which she subscribes to monthly. She refers to this as her “mental gymnastics.” She attributes her good health in avoiding sickness and colds to her daily vitamin C dose. She attributes her endless energy to her father, who was also very energetic and reflects on how hearing problems isolated her father in later life. “My father never enjoyed parties and avoided them whenever possible. He always said he couldn’t hear anybody in a crowd.”

In “Loss”, Ms. White says, “I think the toughest thing about loss, and the hardest challenge is the isolation you feel in its aftermath. You spent so much time sharing your life with someone, talking through issues, even disagreeing about things, and all of a sudden there’s a hole. There’s nobody there and you think, Well, who’s in charge? My God it’s me. I have to make the decisions. I can’t share the decisions any longer. And that’s tough because you don’t fully trust your own judgment.” The loss of Ms. White’s husband, Allen Ludden, left her compassionate and willing to reach out to others experiencing the loss of a partner. With regard to fan mail, she answers personally on just a few topics. “There are a few categories…to which I do respond, those who have just lost a life partner and need to share their pain with someone who has been through it.”

In her last section, “I’m Eighty-Nine?”, she says “One thing they don’t tell you about growing old – you don’t feel old, you just feel like yourself.” She goes on to say, “But I don’t get depressed as the number climbs. Perhaps because I don’t fear death. To some it is such a bete noire that it ruins some of the good time they have left.”

White, B. (2011) If You Ask Me: (And of Course You Won’t). New York: G. P. Putnam’s Sons.

Books: Not Becoming My Mother by Ruth Reichl

2011-08-01T13:12:00.000-07:00

In Not Becoming My Mother, Ms. Reichl explores her mother’s life history as she reads through a box of her mother’s old letters and diaries. Her journey through the box uncovers important life lessons that her mother strove to share with her.

Ms. Reichl finds that her mother, Miriam, grew up in an era that was less open to women to pursuing careers other than care of the family and household. One of the first letters she finds addressed to her mother, from her grandfather tells Miriam, “She was smart but it did not really matter. She was handicapped because she was not pretty. And she would be a failure if she never married.” Miriam was discouraged by her parents to study medicine and instead was encouraged to and received a degree in music.

After receiving her music degree Miriam instead opened a bookstore. “It was a bold move for the time. The day the shop opened Miriam’s mother’s good friend…sent a note of encouragement and congratulations: ‘I admire the intelligence and courage that you are manifesting in the venture. You are showing what girls can do in this, our age.’”

Her bookstore allowed her to correspond “with some of the most interesting minds of her day. Authors thanked her for critiques of their books.” However, despite Miriam’s independent success and intellectual achievements, her parent’s wished only marriage for her. “’How we pray for you to meet Him;' “’Happy New Year and may you find the Mr. Right. It is our one prayer and hope and we think of it every moment’; ‘There was a new moon last night, and I prayed and prayed for Him. I dream that you will find a mate.’”

In time, Miriam does marry, and “she described the marriage as ‘tempestuously unhappy,’ but women of that time did not walk out merely because they were miserable. And they certainly did not walk out when there were children.”

Miriam remarries around World War II to Ms. Reichl’s father. “The war years were a good time for strong women. Dad was to old to be called up, so he moved into her small apartment…My parents pooled their resources, found an investor and created a small publishing company to produce handwritten literary books.” Fortunately, it is in this second marriage that Miriam has found someone who encourages her intellectual pursuits and entrepreneurial efforts. Together the couple produced “a twelve–volume series called ‘The Homemaker’s Encyclopedia.’”

When they sold their publishing company, Ms. Reichl’s father encouraged Miriam to find other work “but after the war jobs for women were not easy to come by. In fact, women who worked were considered unpatriotic. ‘You women and girls go home, back to being housewives as you promised to do’, trumpeted an army general in a widely televised speech in the background you can hear the men cheering wildly.” “All of those smart, competent women sat at home, twiddling their thumbs and telling their daughters how much they had enjoyed working during the war.”

Miriam “took on volunteer jobs…doing stints at the Red Cross, the Girl Scouts, UNICEF, the Silvermine Guild of Artists, the Metropolitan Museum and the New York Public Library.” Her mother was “still in search of a meaningful career.”

Through the stories of her close friends’ experiences, Ms. Reichl’s mother worked to express thoughts on marriage and the importance of career work to her daughter. One of friends, Flora took over her husband’s business upon his untimely death, and made the company more successful than it was when he ran it. “’The business is four times the size it was when Lou [her husband] was alive. The funny thing is that if Lou hadn’t passed away she would have just been another bored housewife.’” Another friend, Claudia lost her drive to live after her husband died in an accident. In time however, Claudia bounced back, returned to her earlier career, and became “very busy, traveling endlessly around the world.” Her mother said, “’Claudia has a career. She does exactly what she wants and answers to no one but herself’…That was all she said. It was enough.”

In late life and after the death of Ms. Reichl’s father, Miriam “filled her life with all the things that she had always wanted – art, music, people – and freed herself from everything that did not make her happy…For the happiest years of her life, Mom relied almost entirely on herself.”

In the last chapter, “Gifts”, Ms. Reichl sums up the important lessons her mother taught her. “In her own oblique way Mom passed on all the knowledge she had gleaned…Work was her most basic lesson: Using herself as an example, she made me see that working is as necessary as breathing. Mom’s strongest belief was that ‘it is what we are made for’ and she was convinced that those who are not useful can never be satisfied. She tried to make me see that a job was not enough; she wanted me to have the meaningful career that she herself had yearned for.” On marriage her mother taught her “it works only when it is based on mutual respect between to people who encourage each other to live up to the best in themselves.” Ms. Reichl closes with “I began to understand that in the end you are the only one who can make yourself happy. More important, Mom showed me that it is never too late to find out how to do it.”

Reichl, R. (2009) Not Becoming My Mother: And Other Things She Taught Me Along the Way. New York: The Penguin Press.

Domestic Violence & Children

2011-07-28T13:17:00.000-07:00

Children have a high propensity to misinterpret situations, and need their perceptions about events validated. Different kinds of events call for different kinds of intervention and the insidious effects of chronic domestic violence have impact on the development and mental health of children exposed to abuse. We reviewed some of the methods for addressing the behavior during/ post abuse and consider here some of the generalities about the many conflicts that can arise in shared custody relationships.

According to Lundy Bancroft in his book, When Dad Hurts Mom, Helping Your Children Heal The Wounds of Witnessing Abuse, the deeper you delve into the child’s experience, the more you will be able to make them feel that you are holding them through their confusion and distress. Children experience domestic violence by seeing incidents happen or witnessing the after effects of an altercation, hearing the incidents take place, witnessing the impact on the survivor, and sensing the atmosphere of intimidation. But children’s interpretations and perceptions matter as much as their experiences. Children will often blame themselves for parental disputes and so it is important to learn what they understand about what had happened and to clarifying the feelings/meanings which they had assigned to events witnessed. Without exaggeration or over promising validate, reassure and clear up misconceptions. Most children hide their feelings, and as a result may exhibit abnormal side effects triggered by things that happen around them, confuse, or generate a strong emotional reaction. Researchers have found that a range of behavioral problems is common. Therefore encourage children to talk about their feelings and traumatic events explicitly to validate their sense of reality.

In fact, the emotional effects of witnessing domestic violence can be similar for children exposed to violence on a battlefield in that both groups endure loss, uprooting, and separation. But it may come as a surprise that the effects of domestic violence should be looked at as potentially more emotionally damaging to the survivor. Consider “symptoms of PTSD from crisis and domestic violence fall into 3 groups (Re-experiencing, Avoidance & Numbing; & Increased Arousal) here “Type 1 Traumas” are defined as responses to single, sudden, unexpected stressors and “Type II Traumas” long-standing, chronic stressors (e.g., chronic family violence). That “Type II traumas may result in secrecy and silence, (i.e. sexual abuse) Contrasts clearly with dramatic public events (i.e. disasters), Type II traumas.

Where children of war suffer along with adults collectively in an open setting, domestic violence survivors suffer privately and leading to stresses associated with disenfranchised grief. One can imagine the isolating effects embarrassment of sharing feelings may put on the survivor, and therefore recover take more time and additional therapy. “When much of what they heard and saw was remarkably similar to what the children of war heard and saw, these children were forced to endure their pain and sorrow in secrecy, silence, and isolation.” “Children Exposed to Domestic Violence” Helene Berman. Note, children who are able to “renew ties with at least one family member experienced fewer post-migration difficulties than those who lacked any family contact.” It reinforces that even though the separation of the abuser/survivor may be unavoidable for the adults involved, and even though the most dangerous time for the survivor is the period in which they are leaving the abuser, It would still very important for the children to maintain some semblance of the family unit. In allowing a child to maintain their relationship, we keep them feeling secure in their identity as apposed to separating children from an abuser can cause a fixation of thought, and that it is healthier for children caught in domestic violence situations to maintain contact and visitation (although forbidding communication with the survivor). Further, “Children of war typically experience “Cultural Bereavement” and subsequent identity problems as they strive to reconcile conflicting cultural values and beliefs” (Eisenbruck, 1988)

Sometimes an abuser may use visitations to undercut the survivors efforts, and attempt to create post-separation difficulties on the survivor. Survivors are encouraged not to speak badly about the abuser to their children. Researchers have found that the closer children feel to the abuser the more deeply hurt they are by their mistreatment. Here children may do an about-face and blame the survivor reproachfully asking them to forgive the abuser. Studies have also found that the closer children feel to the survivor, the better they do and that the better the children understand what is happening, the easier/healthier the situation can be. More work must be done to investigate the scope of broad effects domestic violence, and recognize the seriousness of the attention needed to access its effects on society.

Love After Dementia

2011-07-26T16:34:00.000-07:00

In “Voices of Alzheimer’s” and the Caregiving.com article “Do We Need a POA for Love?” both cover the idea of love after dementia and the ethics of relationships outside of marriage when one spouse has dementia.

The article says “More and more family caregivers are sharing their stories of dating and falling in love with someone other than their spouse.” I found similar sentiments expressed in the book “Voices of Alzheimers.”

“Some of my wife’s friends were upset when I started seeing another woman after Julia went to the nursing home, but I was so damn lonely. I had missed going to concerts and parties for several years. I needed the social life, but it never goes very far. These new friendships don’t hold a candle to the wonderful relationship Julia and I had developed over so many years.” (Husband, p.66)

“There were many problems with my husband’s illness, but one of the biggest was one I couldn’t talk about – he lost interest in sex. I ended up having an affair that ruined several friendships and made me even lonelier. I am thankful I was not more self-destructive during this period.” (Wife, p.66)

“If I just had somebody of my own age group to talk to …I mean, I don’t think that you are violating any of your vows, having somebody you can talk to. I wouldn’t mind having another female, quite honestly, to talk to. Go out and have a beer together.” (Brad, Husband, p.65)

The article “Do We Need a POA for Love?” shares a link to a video about CBS News Correspondent Barry Petersen and his wife Jan who has advanced stages of Alzheimer’s disease. He has since added a new love to his life, Mary Nell, and they together visit and befriend Jan in her residential facility. Mary Nell’s quote is interesting when she says, “The reality is I am a widow. The reality is that he is married to a woman who doesn’t remember him. And so we exist in our own universe of this very peculiar new American family.”

I thought of these dementia caregivers/spouses who are essentially pre-widowed. They have lost their spouses in mind due to dementia, though they remain living in body. They seem to be caught in this middle ground where life is in a holding pattern. They can’t move on and yet they can’t stay the same.

One person in the book says, “People around me are also now unsure of their role; when you have a disease you are supposed to either get better (then they can all cheer) or get progressively worse and die (and they can properly give you care and mourn). Everyone is poised for some type of action, and there is nothing to do for them; they are unsure of how to support this leaky boat which will eventually sink but for the moment is caught on a sandbar.” (JanMina, patient, p.47)

I don’t think it’s fair to impose preconceived ideas of relationships/marriage on caregiver spouses going through a slow death of a dementia stricken spouse. Their needs for love and companionship are important and vital to their health. These are individual ethical decisions that each spouse must make in their own situation. However, I felt that the author of the article brings up a very interesting point when it comes to the children of these marriages. She questions the idea of designating “advanced directives” if you will, to address the wishes of the spouse in a way that would put the family at ease.

“If the daughter knew that her mother would be okay with her father dating, then would this knowledge comfort her today? And, if the mother had expressed different wishes, well, then, would the husband have chosen a different course of action? Along those same lines: If the daughter knew her mother did not want her father to date and then her father did, would this have given the daughter the courage to speak up and discuss her concerns with her father?”

I found these ideas and ethical topics to be very thought provoking, difficult to weigh in on as they are so individual and impossible to pass judgment on as an outsider. All in all, the issues are important and worth considering.

Ref:

1. http://www.caregiving.com/2011/07/do-we-need-a-poa-for-love/
2. http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/06/20/sunday/main6600364.shtml
3. Peterson, B. (2004) Voices of Alzheimer's: Courage, Humor, Hope and Love in the Face of Dementia.

Fond Farewell - Amy Winehouse (1983 - 2011)

2011-07-23T23:14:00.000-07:00

British singer-songwriter, Amy Winehouse, best known for contralto vocals in R&B, soul and jazz styles has died at age 27. Ms. Winehouse won 5 Grammys for Best Pop Vocal Album, Record of the Year, Song of the Year, Best Female Pop Vocal Performance, and Best New Artist in 2008. After her Grammy wins, her Grammy winning album 'Back to Black' rose to #2 on the charts.

The news of Ms. Winehouse's death hit fans hard, as it became Twitter's #1 trending topic, representing 10% of worldwide tweets (equating to about 20 million Twitter users.) Additionally, many celebrities that knew Ms. Winehouse shared their messages of grief and goodbyes over Twitter as well.

A private funeral for family and close friends will be held on July 26, 2011 in London, England.

Fond Farewell - Sherwood Schwartz (1916 - 2011)

2011-07-12T11:54:00.000-07:00

TV Legend and Creator of "Gilligan's Island" and "The Brady Bunch", Sherwood Schwartz, has died at age 94. Although he set out to begin a career in biology, his writing for Bob Hope's radio show quickly changed his course toward comedy writing. He received an Emmy award in 1961 for the Red Skelton Show and received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 2008.

Fond Farewell - Betty Ford (1918 - 2011)

2011-07-09T14:46:00.000-07:00

Former first lady, Betty Ford, has died at age 93. Mrs. Ford was a well known leader of the Women's Movement, an activist for the Equal Rights Amendment, a Pro-Choice supporter and raised awareness of breast cancer following her own mastectomy in 1974. In the 1970's she raised awareness of issues surrounding addiction when she bravely announced her own battle with alcoholism. She established the Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage, CA in 1982, for treatment of chemical dependency. In 1991 Mrs. Ford was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom and in 1999 she received a Congressional Gold Medal.

Remembering Jim Morrison - 40 Years Later

2011-07-04T16:24:00.000-07:00

Several hundred fans and former members of the band, The Doors, gathered this last Sunday, July 3, 2011 to remember lead singer, Jim Morrison, who died 40 years ago in 1971.

Although Jim Morrison was just 27 years old when he died, he fit a notable career into his short life as a successful musician, songwriter and poet, as well as a filmmaker and actor. Several of his books of poetry continue to remain available publication. The Doors records have sold over 35 million in the USA and over 100 million worldwide and in 1993, the band was inducted into the "Rock and Roll Hall of Fame."

Amazon.com Widgets

Dementia: A Focus on the Good

2011-07-01T19:14:00.000-07:00

Today was a good day. I had the privilege of spending 3 hours with my grandparents at their assisted living home in Southern California, after not seeing them since September of 2010.

I was happy to find their health and cognition was better than I expected. (I always imagine the worst as I live at a distance and phone calls are difficult due to hearing.) Although my grandmother (who has dementia) could not remember some things we brought up (her former job, my husband’s grandmother), she did remember me and told me how happy she was to see me. She even told me she loved me as she patted my arm. It was about 2.5 hours into my visit at that point, and came as a complete, but wonderful surprise.

This is what fascinates me about dementia and Alzheimer’s. I recently read a book about Oscar, the cat that seems able to predict death in a dementia ward of a skilled nursing facility. The geriatrician who wrote the book interviews families, and all the families commented on the selectivity of their loved ones’ memories. For many, feelings seem to be immune to the memory barrier of dementia. One particular family spoke of how when their mother and aunt ended up with dementia and were in the nursing home at the same time, they decided to place them in the same room because they’d always been close and lived together in the past. Although the sisters could not recall their own names, or each other's, somehow the feelings they’d had toward each other remained. Their rapport and connection was apparent even during the throws of dementia.

I often waiver between regrets, wishing I done more with my grandma while she was cognizant, wishing I’d listened more closely, recorded more stories, never been a rude and rotten teenager. I must live with all these regrets, but somehow today it felt that her dementia has bought me the forgiveness I was never able to allow myself. She can’t remember the bad; she just remembers the good. It’s a lesson to me. There are so many things I would be wiser to let go of.

I am grateful for what I have learned in how to deal with dementia. During my visit today, I didn’t correct my grandmother. When she said, “I don’t know”, I said, “That’s okay” or “It’s not important.” When she clapped her hands or drummed her open palm on the table, I made eye contact and smiled. I believe what I have learned of dealing with dementia allowed this visit to be one of the best visits I’ve had with my grandmother since dementia took hold.

Fond Farewell - Peter Falk (1927 - 2011)

2011-06-24T11:19:00.000-07:00

Famed Actor and New York native, Peter Falk, has died at age 83 from cardiorespiratory arrest, caused by complications with pneumonia and Alzheimer's disease. Falk is best known for his 4-time Emmy award winning role as "Columbo" on the long running television series. His was also successful on the big screen and the stage. He received Oscar nominations for roles in both "Pocketful of Miracles" with Bette Davis in 1961 and "Murder, Inc." in 1960. He received a Tony Award in 1972 for "The Prisoner of Second Avenue" by Neil Simon.

A bit less known about Peter Falk was his great love for figure drawing. He supported local artists and started a private drawing club with some of the best artists in Los Angeles, California and became an accomplished artist himself.

Peter Falk Discusses his life, career and book in the video below:

Remembering Judy Garland: 1922 - 1969

2011-06-06T00:05:00.000-07:00

On June 10, 2011, Judy Garland would have turned 89, if not for her early death at age 47 in 1969. Judy Garland packed a very full career in to her short life, active as a singer for 45 years of her life and acting for over 38 years. Judy was a legend of song, screen, stage and television. Although she acted for over 38 years of her life, one of her best remembered films was her starring role as Dorothy in "The Wizard of Oz."

Judy Garland died of an accidental Seconal drug overdose on June 22, 1969 in London, England. Nearly 20,000 people came to her viewing at the Frank E. Campbell Funeral Chapel in New York, NY. At her funeral, the eulogy was given by actor, James Mason. She was laid to rest in a crypt at Ferncliff Cemetery, Hartsdale NY.

Video of Judy Garland's Funeral (below)

Remembering Rue McClanahan: 1934 - 2010

2011-06-03T21:05:00.000-07:00

On June 3, 2010, Golden Girl Rue McClanahan passed away after a stroke and subsequent brain aneurysm. She was best known for her brilliant comedic work that earned her an emmy in 1987 on "The Golden Girls," where she played lusty Blanche Deveraux. In addition to the "The Golden Girls", Rue appeared in live theatre, in several films, and on several television shows including recurring roles on "Another World", "Maude", and "Mama's Family".

Remembering Rue (Video)

Fond Farewell - Dr. Jack Kevorkian

2011-06-03T08:45:00.000-07:00

Dignity in Dying advocate, Dr. Jack Kevorkian, has died at age 83. Dr. Kevorkian fought for American freedom and rights at end-of-life. Although his 2008 congressional run in Michigan did not amount in a win, he did receive nearly 9,000 votes. Aside from his end-of-life rights activism, he was also a painter and jazz musician.

Dr. Kevorkian's Last Interview:

Books: Growing Up Again - Life, Loves, and Oh Yeah, Diabetes by Mary Tyler Moore

2011-05-30T07:00:00.000-07:00

Mary Tyler Moore provides great insight into learning to live with Type 1 diabetes, including lifestyle moderation, the benefit of diabetic therapy dogs, risks associated with diabetic neuropathy and retinopathy, as well as family challenges that can arise between the newly diagnosed diabetic and loved ones not familiar with the disease.

Mary Tyler Moore’s approach to life with Type 1 diabetes incorporates a balance and sense of humor that is both refreshing and inspiring.

Remembering Dennis Hopper: 1936 - 2010

2011-05-28T12:10:00.000-07:00

On May 29, 2011, it will one year since the passing of Dennis Hopper, a legendary American Film Actor and Director. His long career included many notable films including, "Easy Rider" (which he directed), "Apocalypse Now", "Hoosiers", "Rebel Without a Cause", "Giant" and "Blue Velvet".

Dennis Hopper died on May 29, 2010 from prostate cancer. His funeral was held June 3, 2010 at San Francisco de Asis Mission Church in Ranchos de Taos, New Mexico. He was buried in a traditional Native American burial style at Jesus Nazareno Cemetery, Ranchos de Taos, NM.

Remembering Dennis Hopper

Dennis Hopper's Funeral Day

Remembering Gary Coleman: 1968 - 2010

2011-05-27T00:05:00.000-07:00

On May 28, 2010, a brain hemorrhage ended the short life of beloved actor Gary Coleman at age 42. Gary Coleman appeared on the long running NBC series "Diff'rent Strokes" during the 1970's and 1980's. In 2003, he grabbed 12,488 votes when he ran in the California recall election to replace Gov. Gray Davis.

Sadly, although it is now one year since his death, no funeral or memorial have been held for Gary Coleman since his cremation on June 17 of 2010 per his wishes expressed in a 1999 will. Presently a legal battle is holding up release of his ashes while his former wife, former business associate and adoptive parents await the Utah District courts decision as to who the executor of his estate is.

Remembering Gary Coleman (Video)

Books: Cancer Schmancer by Fran Drescher

2011-05-26T07:00:00.000-07:00

Ms. Drescher experiences classic symptoms of uterine cancer, though it goes undetected for over 2 years even after visits and examinations by 9 doctors. Fortunately, her vigilance paid off. The story of her plight is informative, encouraging and a good resource for women's health and wellness.

Fond Farewell - The Oprah Winfrey Show: 1984 - 2011

2011-05-25T16:00:00.000-07:00

Today marked the end of an era for American television. After 25 years, Oprah Winfrey ended her long-running, successful talk show, "The Oprah Winfrey Show." Although the show began as more of a "tabloid" talk series, she moved on to stories that touched the lives of more Americans by covering topics on health, relationships and self-improvement, just to name a few. She also interviewed celebrities on the charities they were involved with. The Oprah Winfrey Show remained the number one talk show in ratings since its debut in 1984. Oprah Winfrey now plans to spend more time on her new television network, OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network).

Fond Farewell - Randy "Macho Man" Savage

2011-05-20T13:00:00.000-07:00

American professional wrestler for World Wrestling Federation (WWF) and World Championship Wrestling (WCW), Randy "Macho Man" Savage, has died in a car crash in Seminole, Florida, at age 58. Early in his career, he played as a catcher for the St. Louis Cardinals, and later as an outfielder for Cincinnati Reds and Chicago White Sox. Savage had a successful 23 year wrestling career, which ran from 1973 - 2005, during most of which, he was accompanied by Miss Elizabeth, his manager and later wife.

Remembering Fallen Officers During National Police Week

2011-05-18T20:50:00.000-07:00

It's National Police Week (May 15 - 21). Started back in 1962 by President Kennedy, the week recognizes the service and sacrifice of U.S. law enforcement. Last year, about 160 police officers were killed in the line of duty throughout the U.S.

Below is a Candlelight Vigil in honor of fallen officers.

"How to Die in Oregon" Film Discussions & Interviews

2011-05-17T20:00:00.000-07:00

Film "How to Die in Oregon." by Peter D. Richardson debuts on HBO on May 26.

In the video below, Filmmaker Peter D. Richardson talks about his new documentary, “How to Die in Oregon.” (This video includes an interview with Vermont Gov. Peter Shumlin.)

The below is audio from Director Peter Richardson leading Film discussion Panel Wednesday, May 11th at the Oregon Convention Center in Portland, Oregon where more than 700 people were in attendance.

"How to Die in Oregon" Screening by HBO

2011-05-12T12:00:00.000-07:00

The HBO and Compassion & Choices Screening of Peter D. Richardson's Documentary "How to Die in Oregon" on May 11, 2011, drew a packed house at the Oregon Convention Center in Portland, Oregon. The film was followed by a panel discussion from those who appeared in the film and the director. If you haven't seen the film yet, you should. Please view the trailer below for more about the film.

Fond Farewell - Actress & 'Body Snatchers' Heroine, Dana Wynter

2011-05-11T12:13:00.000-07:00

Actress, Dana Wynter has died at age 79. Although her film and television career spanned 4 decades, she is best known as the heroine in the original "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" film. Ms. Wynter died of congestive heart failure, May 5, 2011 in Ojai Valley, California.

Watch for Ms. Wynter in her most famous role, shown in parts of the video clip below.

Fond Farewell - Former Bolivian President, Lidia Gueiler Tejada

2011-05-09T14:45:00.000-07:00

Former Bolivian President, Lidia Gueiler, has died at age 89. She was the only woman ever to have been Bolivia's president, in office between coups d'etats during 1979-80. Before her presidential term, she served 8 years in Bolivia's congress from 1956 until 1964.

Remembering Lena Horne: 1917 - 2010

2011-05-08T15:00:00.000-07:00

On May 9, 2010, Ground breaking, singer and actress, Lena Horne, died due to heart failure. The New York native became one of the first black performers to sign a long-term contract in Hollywood and became an internationally famous singer. She was awarded 4 Grammy Awards, 1 Tony Award, an NAACP Image Award, and more.

Remembering Lena (Video)

Lena Horne's Funeral (Video)

History of The Early Pets

2011-05-07T20:00:00.000-07:00

The Ancient Egyptians kept many animals as household pets, including cats, dogs, monkeys, gazelles, and birds. They trained dogs, hawks, and mongooses to hunt with them. Monkeys and cats are often depicted on the walls of tombs, seated beneath the chair of their owner. Scenes of hunting and pictures of favorite hounds are common motifs on tomb walls. These paintings often had magical properties, ensuring that these pets, could join their masters after death. Small faience and wooden models of dogs have also been found in tombs.

Pets were not only present as paintings or models. The mummified bodies of pets have also been found in tombs. The ancient Egyptians mummified reptiles and animals such as dogs, apes, bulls, rams, and even an occasional hippopotamus. A certain Hapymen, buried at Abydos, was so fond of his pet dog that it was mummified and wrapped in linen, and placed at the side of his feet in his coffin. In the Valley of the Kings, in tomb KV 50, a pet baboon and a dog were placed so that they glared at each other in preparation for battle. Two women, Isitemkheb D and Ankhshepenwepet had pet gazelles (or in the case of Isitemkheb D an ibex) buried with them. However, one of the most common animal mummies in Egypt was the cat.

The Ancient Egyptians made animal mummies for four main reasons:

Mummified food
Favorite pets (such as a gazelle)
Sacred animal mummies
Mummified animal offerings

To determine how, when, and why cats were mummified, Egyptologists have had to piece together many clues. It appears, for example, that by 1350 B.C., cats were occasionally buried with their owners, according to author Jaromir Malek.

By 900 B.C., a striking change had taken place in the Egyptians' religious beliefs. Many animals were now thought to be the embodiment of certain gods and goddesses; cats were believed to represent the goddess Bastet. Consequently, they were raised in and around temples devoted to Bastet. When they died, they were mummified and buried in huge cemeteries, often in large communal graves.

Some pets were given quite elaborate burials by their grieving owners. Although it is possible that some pets were killed when an owner died, it is perhaps more likely that a pet was placed in the tomb of its owner after a natural death. The X-rays of these pet mummies may help to clarify this issue by providing evidence as to the manner of death.

Some common Egyptian Animal Mummies Found were:

Cows, Bulls, Sheep, Cats, Dogs, Baboons, Ibis, Falcons, Hawks, Fish, Crocodiles, Shrews, Scorpions, Snakes, Bird and reptile eggs, Scarab beetles.

Learn Continuous Chest Compression CPR

2011-05-04T20:00:00.000-07:00

Developed at the University of Arizona's College of Medicine, Continuous Chest Compression CPR, is a hands-only CPR method that doubles the chance of surviving a heart attack. One of its additional benefits is that it does not require mouth-to-mouth contact.

Fond Farewell - Madelyn Pugh Davis Writer for 'I Love Lucy"

2011-04-20T21:00:00.000-07:00

Madelyn Pugh Davis, one of the writers of "I Love Lucy," has died at age 90. She worked on comedy scripts for over 50 years with Bob Carroll Jr., including over 400 television programs and 500 radio shows. Together they were nominated for 3 Emmy Awards for their "I Love Lucy" writing. She also wrote for Lucille Ball's radio show "My Favorite Husband", "The Lucy Show", "Here's Lucy", "The Luclle Ball-Desi Arnaz Show" and "Live With Lucy."

Fond Farewell - Orrin Tucker, Bandleader

2011-04-19T20:00:00.000-07:00

Orrin Tucker, the famous bandleader has died at age 100. One of his most famous songs was "Oh Johnny, Oh Johnny, Oh!" in 1939. He formed his band in 1933, in which played saxophone and sang the vocals until Wee Bonnie Baker started singing with them in 1938. Over his career, Orrin made over 70 records, 6 of which sold more than 1 million copies each.

Fond Farewell - Sidney Lumet, Director

2011-04-09T19:00:00.000-07:00

Prolific New York director, producer & screen writer, Sidney Lumet, has died from lymphoma. In a successful career spanning 7 decades, he directed over 50 films. Some of his best known works include "Dog Day Afternoon," "12 Angry Men," "The Verdict," and "Network", all of which he received Academy Award nominations for. He was also awarded a Lifetime Achievement Academy Award in 2005.

Fond Farewell - Legendary Actress, Elizabeth Taylor

2011-03-23T11:00:00.000-07:00

Legendary British-American actress, Elizabeth Taylor, has died from congestive heart failure. In a successful career spanning 7 decades, she received 3 Oscars, performing in such notable films as "Cleopatra", "Who's Afraid of Virgina Woolf", "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof", "Giant", and "The Taming of the Shrew." She was also founding national chairman for American Foundation for AIDS Research (amFAR). On March 24, she was buried at Forest Lawn in Glendale CA, in the same cemetery where friend Michael Jackson is interred.

Fond Farewell - Bombshell Actress, Jane Russell

2011-02-28T12:00:00.000-08:00

American bombshell actress, Jane Russell, has died from respiratory difficulties. She is best known for her film work from the 1940's & 1950's, including "The Outlaw" and "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes." She also sang with the Kay Kyser Orchestra and was hailed for her singing and comedic talent. She also performed humanitarian works by campaigning for adoption and adopted children. Her public funeral was held March 12 at Pacific Christian Church in Santa Maria, CA.

Dementia is Identity Theft

2011-01-25T12:46:00.000-08:00

Over the past few years, my grandmother has steadily declined into dementia. Although she is still with us in body, she is no longer with us mentally. The grief I feel over losing her began with those first episodes of her mental decline and continues to plague me in different ways as the disease takes hold in more destructive ways.

The loss of my grandmother began when she started to forget the little things. The woman who baked me a birthday cake every year from scratch, no longer even remembered to send a card, much less baked period. She could scarcely recall small things like where I was living at the time. (I’d moved a few times as her decline began.) When I would call, she’d often ask me to stop by for dinner even though she’d long before stopped cooking. This also illustrated the fact that she had forgotten the logistics of where we were in relation to each other. (I was in the Midwest, and she was on the west coast.)

A holiday visit later that year confirmed grandmother's dementia was progressing. She had begun to regress into a childlike state. She was unable to wait for the family to leave for a restaurant, but began taking cookies from a cookie jar. While the family chatted before heading out to a restaurant, she continued to interject “When are we going to eat?” When my mother arrived, she said to her, “You’re so fat.” When my mother poured glasses of wine, she asked for one even though she had not drank wine for over 20 years. (Once she got the glass of wine, she clearly did not want it, she just didn’t remember she didn’t drink it any longer.) When I returned an uneaten serving of chips into their original bag, she copied me and began returning her uneaten portion of chips back into the bag as well.

Just three months after that visit, when her health took a sharp downhill turn, she was no longer caring for herself as she once did. The woman who refused to leave the house before reapplying lipstick and some perfume, the woman who had her hair styled once a week and got manicures every other week, now had not only begun neglecting her appearance, but also stopped showering altogether. Together my mother and I had to help her to wash and dress herself. The woman who cared for mom, and then me, the woman who helped raise me when I was young, now required our care as the “adults”.

Around that same time, she had begun requiring the use of diapers during the night. She could no longer awaken in time to use the restroom in the bathroom at night. Even now as she is in a good senior care facility, she continues to say its too much trouble to shower. She also continues to refuse to have her hair styled or cut, although she did agree to let the manicurist paint her nails “Munsters” green (a color my grandmother chose). A conservative woman, I only ever saw her wear various shades of pink on her nails. I would have found it amusing if it weren’t so damn depressing.

When we went through my grandparent’s house to sort items out once she was moved to the senior care facility, I found that personal hygiene items I had been sending her as gifts over the last few years (perfumes, cosmetics, skin and hand care gift sets), sat either barely used, or completely unopened. It saddened me to see the items I knew she would have enjoyed in earlier years, the things I handpicked to gift her, weren’t even valuable enough to take with her when she left her home.

I grieve the loss of the opportunities I will never have again because my grandmother’s dementia has changed her from the functioning person she once was. I will never learn how to make her buttermilk pancakes from scratch nor her baked chicken or many of her Midwest styled recipes she knew by heart. I will never get to learn more about her family history. I will never again have the opportunity to shop with her to pick out things, from the most special (my wedding gown) to the least important (a bed comforter). Knowing these things will not happen again has led me to hold onto her old cookbooks and the last items we shopped together for, back when she was still herself.

I am angry with myself for not making the most of those opportunities when I had them. I’m angry for not learning how to cook the dishes she excelled at. I’m angry for not writing more family stories down, and for those I did record, for losing them. I am remorseful for the one time I refused to eat the birthday cake she baked me because I was being an obstinate teenager, refusing to cheat on my low-fat diet. I cannot change any of these things, and that saddens me greatly.

In many ways, the loss of opportunities is what saddens me most of all. My grandmother is still here, and could potentially have still contributed to sharing her knowledge and experience with me if she hadn’t had dementia. No one sees these things coming. We see the life expectancies lengthening, and devoid of any serious illness, we think our loved ones are going to be here for years to come. Perhaps this is denial. Nevertheless, with that mindset we never get to make the most of each and every moment. I wish I had.

These days, I fear visiting my grandmother for I am afraid of how much worse she will have become. On a visit in September last year, I was shocked to find she no longer knew who my husband was, even though she was my one and only matron of honor in my wedding just a few years earlier. (I had no bridesmaids or maids of honor, just her.) On my father’s visit a few months earlier, she was able to connect the fact that he looked like someone she'd known, but she didn’t realize it was indeed him. Although she did recognize me on my visit, I could not truly have a conversation with her because she says very little, smiles and every few minutes pats her hand on the table or taps fingers on the table. During our luncheon at her senior care home, she said she wasn’t hungry, then proceeded to take French fries off my plate. She ordered a slice of blueberry pie and when my husband’s apple pie arrived, she wanted that instead. Throughout our visit she continually asked who my husband was.

What I have found interesting in this experience of grief is how it continually keeps changing. Each time I adapt to one loss, I face an entirely new one. I have adapted and adjusted through the grief of accepting the littlest things lost (my forgotten birthday, her no longer cooking or shopping), to the grief of seeing her own care of herself and the ability to function decline. I’ve adapted to the grief of seeing her forget people in the family, to the grief of finally accepting that the opportunities I’ve lost with her are gone and will never reoccur. My grief continues to change and evolve as I see her dementia slowly taking hold in more destructive ways. I grieve the loss of her memory as it continues to fade away and I grieve the loss of my grandmother as the person she once was.

Fond Farewell - Fitness Legend, Jack LaLanne

2011-01-23T08:00:00.000-08:00

Inspirational American fitness, exercise and nutritional expert, Jack LaLanne, has died at age 96, from respiratory failure due to pneumonia. His many achievements included a chain of health clubs he licensed to Bally Company (they are now knowns as Bally's Total Fitness), "The Jack LaLanne Show," a television exercise show that ran for 34 years, and several books and videos on fitness, as well as exercise equipment, vitamin supplements & juicers. He worked out 2 hours each day throughout his life. He was laid to rest February 1 at Forest Lawn.

Choosing our Words Wisely

2010-12-22T15:11:00.000-08:00

Choosing our Words Wisely

During the holiday season it’s a good time to reconsider the words we use when we discuss or introduce our extended families. The wrong words chosen can be hurtful to others and so we must consider the 4-way test of things we say, think, or do:

1. Is it the truth?
2. Is it fair to all concerned?
3. Will it build good will and better friendships?
4. Will it be beneficial to all concerned?

For instance, when introducing one’s step-children, one might say “This is my son and this is my step son.”

Is it true? Yes, one child is biological one is not.
Is it fair to point this out? Perhaps it is fair, but it is unnecessary.
Will it build good-will or better friendships? Definitely not for the step-child, and definitely not between the parent and step-child, or between the step-child and his siblings by marriage.
Will it be beneficial to all concerned? Definitely not.

So in accordance with the 4-way test of things we say, think or do, one might consider it best to simply introduce the two children as: “These are my children.” Differentiating which children are biological and which ones are not might be necessary in a court of law or in a medical setting when discussing heredity and family illnesses, but in the general public setting, it is not only unnecessary but hurtful as well.

I have many biological aunts who are married. I always refer to each aunt and her spouse as my “aunt and uncle.” For instance, I would never point out “this is my aunt and this is her husband.” To disassociate myself from her spouse by way of family bloodlines would be pointlessly hurtful. Regardless of how much or little I care for her spouse, her spouse is still part of our family and by pointing out he is only family by marriage does not serves to build good will or better friendships.

However close or distant we may feel about our family that is related by marriage, it is never helpful to point out to strangers specifically how they are related to you. While the differentiation may be truthful, it is never helpful in building better relationships.

And so during this holiday season, it is only sensible to choose our words wisely when introducing family. Let’s try our best to keep the “happy” in our holidays.

Prevent Cognitive Decline

2010-07-21T20:18:00.000-07:00

Every morning my father practices a daily activity of speed-reading on various topics. Over decades of practice he has improved his cognitive recognition and retention of some the most challenging academic disciplines - rapidly. Most exciting is his claim that the wide array of challenging topics chosen for these exercises actually improves his ability to learn. The more difficult the book, the more stimulating the effects are on his mind lighting up with the euphoria of new learning. Recently, he has become increasingly interested in finding ways to explain, test, and share his experience with others.

Effortful learning may help to slow the effects of an aging mind. In fact, involvement in mentally challenging activities could slow the rate of cognitive decline caused by degenerative diseases. “Learning to Learn” is a method of boosting problem-solving skills. It enhances neurogenesis, which is believed to prevent and or treat disorders that lead to cognitive decline.

When learning is difficult, neurons throughout the hippocampus become fully engaged. This is important because when a mind is not challenged, new neurons lack the stimulation required to exist. The most opportune time to learn is when newborn cells, which start life unspecialized, begin to differentiate into neurons and respond to neurotransmitters. It is important to note that there is a critical window of time in which learning can save newborn neurons. Training before this time is too early.

An enhanced capacity for learning demonstrated by rats continually challenged with difficult learning exercises, showed that stimulating neurons throughout the hippocampus was necessary for them to be fully engaged. Research also showed that activities involving cognitive effort were responsible for new neuron development. When unchallenged, new neurons lacked the stimulation needed to survive and consequently faded away. For example, animals that were slow to learn and required more trials to learn task mastery ended up with more new neurons than animals that learned quickly. The findings also showed that more successfully an organism learned the material, the higher number of new neurons were retained. This proves the hypothesis that learning that requires concerted effort stimulates new neurons.

The theory was tested by injecting animal test subjects with BrdU at the beginning of an experiment. One week later, subjects were recruited into the eyeblink training program. The remaining subjects were not stimulated with challenging activity (control group). Some days after training, it was found that the challenged rats retained more BrdU-labeled neurons in the hippocampus than did the control rats. The study also found that before cells can be wired into the brain with neurons, new cells must be somewhat mature before they can respond to learning.

As science searches for solutions to mental diseases like Alzheimer’s, and other causes of debilitating progressive memory loss and learning ability, finding ways of delaying the maturation of mental decline could lead to the preservation of self reliance and more rich and fulfilling living throughout our twilight years. Possibly my father’s experience with subliminal reading could become more a widely adopted practice to keep ones mind active. It might even help avoid the debilitating effects of aging on the mind. (Learn this technique at: ShhTract.com.)

Don't Rely on Oral Contracts

2010-07-16T04:29:00.000-07:00

When considering entering into a contract, the Statute of Frauds is an important protector of your interests. The Statute of Frauds protects parties who enter important contracts that can have significant effects on them if not well thought though.

The statute of frauds requires specific types of contracts to be in writing or evidenced by a written memorandum, rather than an oral agreement.

There are five types of contracts that fall within this category:

Contracts involving land.

Contracts that cannot by their terms bee performed within 1 year.

Collateral, or secondary contracts, such as promises to answer for the debt or duty of another and promises by the administrator or executor of an estate to pay a debt of the estate personally.

Promises made in consideration of marriage.

Contracts for sales of goods exceeding $5,000 or more.

Is the Statute of Frauds a good thing?

It definitely protects people from entering into contracts they might not otherwise have fully thought through. If one must put something into writing and sign it, they must have thought about it more seriously than having simply held a conversation over it.

The Statute of Frauds protects parties from being held to agreements that might put them at an undue hardship.

Landowners might lose their land, and ultimately shelter.

For the guarantor of a collateral promise, he/she might be overburdened financially by the transaction of accumulating another’s debt.

For a party of considerable wealth to enter into marriage without fully considering a prenuptial contract, he/she could lose a significant amount of their estate in the event of a divorce.

For parties purchasing $5,000 or more of goods, only one who could afford such an investment would be likely to sign a contract for those goods.

The one-year rule, also protects those who enter into it. So many circumstances can change within a year that it is vital for parties that will fulfill a contract outside of that timeframe to be bound to that agreement.

To put oneself in a position that is detrimental to their financial situation or lifestyle (shelter), one must thoroughly consider such a decision. Hopefully for the majority of people, a written contract will have ensured this.

All content © Village Memorial. 2009-2010.

ABCD's of Skin Cancer

2010-07-10T05:10:00.000-07:00

Early detection is the best prevention against any type of cancer.

To prevent the risk from skin cancers, aside limiting sun exposure, one should regularly inspect moles and freckles on the skin. There are four specific signs to look for when inspecting moles that appear on the skin:

Asymmetry: When half of the mole does not match the other half.

Border: When the border (edges) of the mole are ragged or irregular.

Color: When the color of the mole varies throughout.

Diameter: When the mole's diameter is larger than a pencil's eraser.

Skin Cancer Facts:

Most tumors that arise in the skin are benign and do not metastasize.

Skin cancer can be caused by excessive exposure to sunlight.

Three forms of cancer are:
- Basal Cell Carcinoma (Slow growing; rarely metastasizes relatively easy to treat if caught early)
- Squamous Cell Carcinoma (Cancer of the epidermis)
- Malignant Melanoma (The worst type; very rapid growing; metastasizes rapidly throughout the body; people can die from this type of cancer; early detection is the best defense.)

Among the risk factors for skin cancer are:
- Skin type
- Sun exposure
- Family History
- Age
- Weak immune system

Brain Shape = Function

2010-07-04T20:39:00.000-07:00

Imagine evidence from brain-imaging aiding in criminal conviction. In the film Minority Report, actor Tom Cruise plays a law enforcement officer of the “Pre-Crime” division of a privatized police force. In the story, Cruise’s character is framed for a crime he had not yet committed. The movie warns of the potential for distortion when second-guessing our free will. Perhaps this isn’t simply science fiction. Advanced imaging and methods of measuring brains shape, could lead “experts” to make predictions about someone’s individual character, and even one’s propensity to commit a crime.

Early “scientists” judged the shape of a human brain to predict brain function. However, recent breakthroughs in brain shape analysis are also discovering a link between brain shape and brain function. New models of cortex folding that combine genetics and physical principles can help integrate what is known about morphology, development and mental connectivity along with genetic processes that could control timing and development of the cortex. By creating a detailed timetable of the formation of many different connections that make up the brain’s communication system, we will be able to determine when different parts of the cortex develop in the womb. This will enable scientists to experiment by modifying the development of distinct layers or neurons.

Researchers have begun to understand that autism arises from mis-wiring of the brain. This causes communication between nearby cortical areas to increase, while communication between distant areas decreases. People with autism exhibit deviations from the normal number and positions of neurons in cortical layers compared with those of healthy subjects. Abnormal distribution of neurons in cortical layers disrupts connections and impairs the function of the nervous system in communication.

In fact “the range of neurological diseases with vastly different symptoms such as those seen in schizophrenia, autism, Williams syndrome, childhood epilepsy, and other disorders may be the result of pathology arising at different times in development and variously affecting regions, layers and sets of neurons that happen to be emerging, migrating or connecting when the process goes awry.” Claus C. Hilgetag and Helen Barbas (2010)

Olive Oil is NOT the Healthiest

2010-07-01T23:56:00.000-07:00

We've all heard about the health benefits of olive oil - but did you know...

There are 2 oils far healthier than olive oil.

Sunflower Oil & Safflower Oil:

* have more polyunsaturated - (good fats) than olive oil

* less monounsaturated and less saturated fats (bad fats) than olive oil.

-----------------------------------------------------

FAT FACTS:

The more saturated - the more it sticks together & clogs arteries.

The more unsaturated - the healthier - as it does not stick together.

-----------------------------------------------------

BELOW CHART GUIDE:

BEST = Yellow (polyunsaturated fat) - Healthiest

WORST = Blue (saturated fat) - unhealthiest

IN BETWEEN = Red (monounsaturated) is less unhealthy than a saturated fat, but can still stick to arteries

FOR YOUR BEST HEALTH:

* eat more yellow (polyunsaturated) fats

* eat less blues (saturated) and less reds (monounsaturated).

Food Safety Tips - Avoid E. Coli & Salmonella

2010-06-16T00:03:00.000-07:00

The safety of the food we eat is essential to our health and ultimately, our existence. “Germs in food make 76 million Americans sick, send 323,000 to hospitals and kill 5,000 each year “, the CDC estimates. Americans are not the only ones at risk as foodborne diseases actually occur “daily in all countries, from the most to the least developed” (WHO). Therefore, it is no wonder why growing priority is being placed on food safety. In fact, “increasing concern about food safety has led to a boost in research into quicker and cheaper methods of detecting and killing pathogens” (ElAmin). Between scientific advancements in detection and treatment and public awareness of preventative measures, foodborne disease may soon become a problem of the past.

Two Most Common Pathogens

The two most common pathogens found in food are salmonella and Escherichia coli (E. coli). These pathogens are responsible for tens of thousands of illnesses and infections and hundreds of deaths every year in the United States.

Salmonella is a bacteria found in a number of places including water, soil and animal feces to the more common household items such as raw meat and eggs, and on kitchen surfaces. Each year, salmonella infections affect nearly 50,000 people in the United States. Symptoms of salmonella infection include “nausea, vomiting, abdominal cramps, diarrhea (sometimes bloody), fever, and headaches” (Homeier).

Escherichia coli (E. coli) is a dangerous pathogen that is responsible for “73,000 cases of infection and 61 deaths” in the United States each year. (CDC) Symptoms of an E. coli infection usually “start about 7 days after you are infected with the germ” (AAFP) and begin with severe abdominal cramps, then diarrhea and eventually bloody stools caused by sores the infection makes in the intestines. Other symptoms may include a mild fever and possible nausea or vomiting (AAFP).

Preventing Infections of Salmonella and E. coli.

Proper food preparation is the first key to understanding how to limit the spread of salmonella and E. coli. To prevent both diseases, it is recommended to cook meat thoroughly at a temperature of at least 160 degrees Fahrenheit. Additionally, avoid raw milk and eggs, including under cooked eggs (Outbreak, Inc.) Drink only “pasteurized milk, juices, or cider” or water that has been “treated with chlorine or other effective disinfectants” and thoroughly wash all fruits and vegetables. (Outbreak, Inc.) Eric Schlosser reports that, “the most common cause of foodborne outbreaks has been the consumption of undercooked ground beef” and “contaminated bean sprouts, salad greens, cantaloupe” and salami.

Proper food storage is second vital issue in public awareness. Important rules to follow are to “wash and chill melons before slicing” and “separate raw meat, poultry and seafood” from other items in the refrigerator (BFHD). Also be sure to “keep hot food hot and cold food cold”, “keep food refrigerated or frozen” and to “refrigerate leftovers right away or throw them away” (AAFP).

Cleanliness is the third key factor the public should understand to help cease the spread of both salmonella and E. coli. It is recommended that after contact with any foods of animal origin, soap and water should be used to immediately wash any surfaces touched (hands, utensils and kitchen surfaces). The handling of pets such as “reptiles, amphibians or birds” or pet feces, the “changing of soiled diapers” or bowel movements all necessitate the thorough washing of hands with soap and water (Outbreak Inc.)

Avoid person-to-person transmission. Public settings or interactions offer a fourth level of complexity for the spread of both pathogens that the public would be of added benefit to understand. It is important to note that E. coli “outbreak can also be caused by person-to-person transmission of the bacteria in homes and in settings like daycare centers, hospitals, and nursing homes” (Outbreak Inc.) Prevention of E. coli is also aided by avoiding “swallowing lake or pool water while swimming”. While both diseases can spread from animal-to-human exposure, “petting zoos and other animal exhibits” are safest when avoided (Outbreak Inc.)

Cold Pasteurization/Irradiation

Treatment of food is the next vital step in the prevention of infection for both E. coli and salmonella infections. Irradiation, also known as Cold Pasteurization, is gaining ground as an essential method to eliminate the dangers created by pathogens in meat. According to Eric Schlosser, “Irradiation is a form of bacterial birth control” so that “when microorganisms are zapped with low levels of gamma rays or x-rays, they are not killed, but their DNA is disrupted and they cannot reproduce.” This technique is progressing, as “major meat and poultry suppliers are forming alliances with manufacturers of the food irradiation equipment. There are 21 companies currently supplying equipment that could be used”( I-AX). Although public fears regarding radiation and “reluctance among consumers to eat things that have been exposed to radiation” are still significantly high, “irradiated foods are safe to eat”, according to “The American Medical Association and the World Health Organization,” says Schlosser.

REVISS, explains the difference between items that are “irradiated” and those that are “contaminated” with radiation. “A contaminated item is one that has a measurable quantity of radioactive material deposited on it. It is in itself a source of radiation and must be contained appropriately. It should not be handled without protection, as it may contaminate anything that comes into contact with it. An item irradiated by cobalt-60 is one that has had gamma radiation 'shone' through it. The irradiated item does not pick up any radioactivity and never contains radioactivity, so it may be handled normally” (REVISS). Therefore, the process of irradiation leaves food free of dangerous pathogens and radiation resulting only in improved food safety.

The CDC explains that, ongoing studies in the safety of irradiation over the past four decades have proven that “like pasteurization and retort canning, irradiation is a safe and effective food processing step. Treated food does not become radioactive, and, in general, shelf life is prolonged because organisms that cause spoilage are reduced along with pathogens. Irradiation has been used effectively in meats, poultry, grains, and produce” (CDC). The FDA concurs, “Irradiation of food does not lead to changes in the composition of the food that, from a toxicological point of view, would have an adverse effect on human health” (Morehouse). It is also important to note that an additional benefit of food irradiation is the control of “insect pests – thus reducing the need for environmentally harmful fumigants” (Robertson).

The safety of irradiation therefore holds great promise in the improvement of public health via reduction and eventually eradication of foodborne infections. The CDC estimates “The potential benefit of irradiating meat and poultry alone is substantial; it could prevent hundreds of thousands of foodborne illnesses, thousands of hospitalizations, and hundreds of deaths each year” (Tauxe). Education of the public as to the true facts of irradiation will be important in obtaining a broadened acceptance of irradiation and in turn, access to all the benefits that irradiation has to offer.

Foodborne illnesses can become a problem of the past with the help of science and public awareness. Thorough testing for early detection of pathogens, public awareness of preventative measures and the elimination of pathogens through irradiation will all be essential components in the plan to eradicate the contamination of pathogens that lead to foodborne infections.

References:

American Academy of Family Physicians. “E. Coli infection”. Familydoctor.org.

Associated Press. “Despite E. coli outbreak, food safer than ever.” Msnbc.com

Benton-Franklin Health District. “Salmonella food safety series”

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “Escherichia coli O157:H7”. CDC.gov September 24, 2006.

ElAmin, Ahmed. “Salmonella test approved for poultry plants”. FoodProductionDaily-USA.com.

ElAmin, Ahmed. “Test lab opens for E. Coli, clostridium botulinum”. FoodProductionDaily-USA.com.

Homeier, Barbara P., “Salmonella Infections”. KidsHealth June 2005.

I-AX Technologies. “Cold Pasteurization (a.k.a. Food Irradiation)”. Iaxtech.com.

Igen.com “First Rapid Commercial Salmonella Test Gets US Seal of Approval”. Content-wire.com.

Morehouse, Kim M. “Food Irradiation: The treatment of foods with ionizing radiation”. Food Testing & Analysis.

Outbreak, Inc. “How can I prevent Salmonella infection”. About-salmonella.com.

Outbreak, Inc. “E. coli O157:H7 – a foodborne pathogen” About-ecoli.com.

REVISS. “A Guide to the Terminology of Radioactivity, Radiation Sources and their Distribution.” Reviss.com.

Robertson, Robert E. and Hoy, Jerilynn “Food Irradiation, Available Research Indicates That Benefits Outweigh Risks.” United States General Accounting Office. August 2000.

Schlosser, Eric. “Fast Food Nation”. New York: Houghton Mifflin, 2001.

Tauxe, Robert V. “Food Safety and Irradiation: Protecting the Public from Foodborne Infections”. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

World Health Organization. “General information related to foodborne disease”. Who.int.

All content © Village Memorial. 2009-2010.

Additional Uses for WD-40

2010-06-03T00:07:00.000-07:00

Below are some additional uses for WD-40 as recommended by the manufacturer:

Protects silver from tarnishing.

Removes road tar and grime from cars.

Loosens stubborn zippers.

Untangles jewelry chains.

Keeps ceramic/terra cotta garden pots from oxidizing.

Keeps scissors working smoothly.

Lubricates noisy door hinges on vehicles and doors in homes.

Lubricates gear shift and mower deck lever for ease of handling on riding mowers.

Rids kids rocking chairs and swings of squeaky noises.

Lubricates tracks in sticking home windows and makes them easier to open.

Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open and close.

Restores and cleans roof racks on vehicles.

Lubricates and stops squeaks in electric fans

Lubricates wheel sprockets on tricycles, wagons, and bicycles for easy handling.

Keeps rust from forming on saws and saw blades, and other tools.

Lubricates prosthetic limbs.

Keeps pigeons off the balcony (they hate the smell).

Removes all traces of duct tape.

It removes black scuff marks from the kitchen floor! Use WD-40 for those nasty tar and scuff marks on flooring. It doesn't seem to harm the finish and you won't have to scrub nearly as hard to get them off. Just remember to open some windows if you have a lot of marks.

If you sprayed WD-40 on the distributor cap, it would displace the moisture and allow the car to start.

Bug guts will eat away the finish on your car if not removed quickly, so use WD-40 to loosen and remove. Plus, it removes bugs from grills and bumpers.

Ingredients in WD-40:

solvent naphtha petroleum, medium aliphatic, > 60%

petroleum base oil as paraffinic distillate, heavy, solvent-dewaxed (severe), 15% to 25%

corrosion inhibitor unregulated, 1% to 10%

wetting agent unregulated, 1% to 10%

fragrance unregulated, 0% to 1%

carbon dioxide, 2% to 3%

BPA & Plastics to Avoid

2010-05-14T00:08:00.000-07:00

A food safety bill considering a ban on BPA (Bisphenol-A) is being resisted by the food industry and major business groups. The bill “to improve food safety” contains a “proposed amendment that would ban bisphenol-A, a controversial chemical, from food and beverage containers.”

BPA is used in a variety of consumer goods, “including compact discs, dental sealants, credit card and ATM receipts,” as well as “plastic food containers, bottles and the epoxy linings of metal cans.” The major concern of health advocates is the use of BPA in products that can leach the chemical into foods and beverages. According to federal estimates, the chemical “is found in the urine of more than 90% of the U.S. Population,” while a 2009 U.S. study “detected an average of 2.8 ng/mL BPA in the blood of 9 out of the 10 umbilical cords tested.”

The safety of Bisphenol A has been in question since the 1930’s. It is known as “an endocrine disruptor”. The U.S. National Institutes of Health notes concern for BPA’s “effects on fetal and infant brain development and behavior” and link to increased obesity. Bisphenol A is shown to affect thyroid function and can “promote the growth of neuroblastoma cells”. In Sep. 2008, the Journal of the American Medical Association published findings on a cross-sectional study of 1,500 people that found “higher bisphenol levels [in urine] were significantly associated with heart disease, diabetes, and abnormally high levels of certain liver enzymes.” Canada classified BPA as “toxic to human health and the environment”. Denmark and France banned BPA use in baby bottles. Japan replaced the majority of its epoxy-coated cans with PET film. Additionally, “many companies have voluntarily removed BPA from their products or required suppliers to provide BPA-free options.”

To avoid BPA in food products, consumers should look for plastics with at Number 7 or Number 3 printed in the recycling triangle at the bottom. These plastics can leach BPA into food and drinks and are extremely toxic when burned. These plastics should not touch food. Additional plastics to avoid are those containing a Number 6 in the bottom. Number 6 is can also leach toxins into foods, especially when heated.

Ref:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/04/25/AR2010042503408.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bisphenol_A

http://www.thedailygreen.com/green-homes/latest/recycling-symbols-plastics-460321

HydroCremation, Environmentally Responsible Alternative to Cremation

2010-05-01T00:09:00.000-07:00

Alkaline Hydrolysis, alternative to incineration creation

When we die, Alkaline Hydrolysis is the natural method of decomposition. Just as food in the intestine is digested and transformed into nutrients by alkaline hydrolysis and enzymes operating at pH 7-8 at body temperature. Human bodies are mostly water and when buried under the earth we degrade through this natural process, (expedited by the soil bacteria.)

“Water Resolution” is the water reduction process for the application of Alkaline Hydrolysis to human cadavers. The Alkaline hydrolysis process has been used worldwide in laboratory and research applications. It is a fully automated process of pressure, high temperature, and alkalinity to accelerate the natural process of tissue hydrolysis decomposition by using a strong alkali (pH 14) to solubilize and hydrolyze tissue, expedited by heat at 150˚C in a pressurized vessel. The integral load cells weigh the body and the appropriate amount of water and alkali are added automatically to the vessel. The vessel is quickly heated via steam to around 150˚C (~300˚F) and the body is resolved to its component elements. The entire process is complete in 2-3 hours. This process generates a solution of amino acids, peptides, sugars, and soap (salts of fatty acids) that is suitable and safe for release into the environment.

The process is environmentally friendly because it does not generate air pollution and the embalming fluid is neutralized into a harmless chemical compound. It incurs 20 times less CO2 emissions vs. average cremation. It is energy efficient, using 1/10th the energy per body versus cremation. It makes use of foreign substance in the body, like pacemakers, replacement joints and pins, which remain sterile and intact for recovery and possible re-use. Additionally, for the budget conscious, it is 3-5 times less expensive than cremation. It is projected that within 5 years hundreds of machines will be in use in California, Oregon, and Washington.

By mimicking a body’s natural chemical process of decomposition it breaks down the human chemical make up of 65% Oxygen, 18% Carbon, 10% Hydrogen, 3% Nitrogen, 1.5% Calcium, 1% Phosphorus and 1.5% total of remaining additional periodic elements reducing CO2 emissions in the process.

REM Sleep Improves Memory

2010-04-23T00:11:00.000-07:00

A new study suggests that naps can “boost your ability to process and store information tenfold – but only if you dream while you’re asleep”.

The Center for Sleep and Cognition at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston, Mass., conducted a study on 99 college students. Students were asked to memorize “a complex maze on a computer”. Then the students were placed “inside a virtual 3-D version of the maze” and asked to “navigate to another spot within it”. The students did this several times before half of them were sent to take a 90-minute nap. The half that remained awake watched videos. Five hours later, all of the students were tested on the maze again. The students who napped tested better than the students who stayed awake, “even those who had reviewed the maze in their heads.” Of the students who napped, those who dreamt of the maze “performed 10 times better than the nappers who didn’t.”

The students who dreamt of the maze tested poorly on the maze the first time around, which may support a theory of researchers’ that the brain recognizes when a task is difficult and thus prompts dreams about it. The lead author of the study, Robert Stickgold said, “When you dream your brain is trying to look at connections that you might not think of or notice when [you’re] awake.” Michael Breus, clinical director of the sleep division for Arrowhead Health concurred, “The sleeping brain seems to be processing information on one level, but on a higher level, it helps evolve your memory network if the information is relevant or helpful in your life experience.”

Some vitamins, minerals and amino acids that help produce sleep are: Calcium, Magnesium, B vitamins (6 and 12), Inositol (enhances REM sleep), Chromium, Tryptophan, Serotonin, and Melatonin.

Ref: http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/04/22/naps.memory.dream.brain/?hpt=Sbin

http://www.holisticonline.com/remedies/sleep/sleep_ins_nutrition.htm

Dangers of Formaldehyde Embalming

2010-04-21T00:13:00.000-07:00

In conventional embalming, blood is drained from a cadaver’s circulatory system and replaced by a formaldehyde based embalming fluid to delay decomposition. Formaldehyde has a GROUP 1 carcinogen status, the highest toxicity level issued to any chemical. Extensive documentation catalogs the risks of serious allergic/asthmatic reactions, allergic sensitization, IgE Immune-mediated hypersensitivity, and allergic contact dermatitis. Formaldehyde is a groundwater contaminant, industrial river and lake effluent, wastewater treatment plant impactor, and a soil deposition/impact chemical. In the average 6-8 ounces of formaldehyde leaked through a casket and concrete vault per grave, formaldehyde’s environmental half-life and pathways of biodegradation are still 50-75 times the maximum health advisory limits for contaminant/soil leachant.

On average two-thirds of the time, embalming prep rooms are exceeding ACGIH and OSHA limits for safe exposure. “Airborne concentrations above 0.1 ppm can cause irritation of the eyes nose and throat. The severity of irritation increases as concentration increases; at 100 ppm it is immediately dangerous to life, health, and explosively high vapor pressure.

Green burial alternatives are worth exploring to avoid these toxins.

All content © Village Memorial. 2009-2010.

Carbohydrates & Heart Disease in Women

2010-03-15T00:14:00.000-07:00

A new study gives women a good reason to watch their glycemic index. According to the Italian National Cancer Institute, diets rich in carbohydrates with high-glycemic indexes (such as corn flakes and white bread) increase “the risk of heart disease for women” as opposed to lower glycemic carbohydrates (such as those found in “whole wheat products and sweet potatoes.”)

The Italian study followed “15,171 men and 32,578 women” for 8 years. Women who consumed the most carbohydrates experienced twice the “incidence of heart disease” compared with women who ate the least. Upon further analysis, the risk was found to be “associated with higher intake of high-glycemic foods.” No effect was seen in the men studied. These findings corroborate prior studies on both genders by the Nurses Health Study (in the US) and a study in the Netherlands.

The reason behind the difference in gender response has only been speculated on. Dr. Victoria Drake, “director of the Micronutrient Information Center…of Oregon State University” believes the difference might relate to sex hormonal differences. Dr. Drake explains, that while male androgens “appear to slow the transformation of carbohydrates into blood sugar”, female estrogen “speeds the process”. Additionally, Dr. Drake explains that the high glycemic index “is known to increase the concentration of triglycerides and lower the concentration of HDL cholesterol, the good kind” making these type of sugars “a stronger risk factor for heart disease.”

Ref: Health Day (2010) http://www.healthday.com/Article.asp?AID=637965

All content © Village Memorial. 2009-2010.

Home Funeral Trend

2010-03-03T02:42:00.000-08:00

Americans - Not Caring for Our Own Dead
Periodically people you know and love will die. The one thing that is certain in life is death. There is no way around it. You and I, our family, community, the entire human civilization alive today will all pass sometime in the next century. This thought is one most Americans try to avoid.

Let’s say your grandmother has had a stroke and is near death at a local hospital. You go to her to be with her in her last moments, and then, the beloved person before you, who had cared for you, raised you, and loved you is gone. No sooner has she passed when, you are asked to leave the room. A doctor will be in to fill out the death certificate and then your loved one will be whisked away to the hospital morgue, or worse to be sliced and probed in autopsy (if the cause of death was unclear). You choose a funeral home and they take care of the rest of the process. Her body is now property of the state. The next time you see her will be for maybe an hour or two at the wake where she’s been specifically prepared for extended viewing time (some liken this as being turned into a human pickle). From there it’s time to head to the cemetery or collect her ashes. It is a process that is far removed from a personal and private investment with your loved one who has passed.

Knox (2009) explains how she felt when her young daughter passed. “I had given birth to her. She had lived with me every day of her life. I had carefully chosen what she was exposed to, what she ate, where she went to school. I was required by law to care well for her. But now that her heart had stopped beating, I was being told that her care was no longer my concern.” Knox (2009) No wonder Americans have such a hard time with loss. Death has been institutionalized and turned into a series of merchandising and purchasing obligations. The whole experience is empty, demoralizing and expensive.

In Support of Home Funerals
Home funerals assist in the healing of and recovery of survivors. One dangerous coping method of loss “is to deny its existence” (Roussell, 1999, p. 6). A home funeral gives people the extra time needed to adjust to the reality that their loved one is gone. Not only is it healthier for the grieving process to have this time, the additional responsibilities also aid the grieving process. Those who have cared for their own dead have found the experience both meaningful and empowering. Knox (1999) describes the home funeral she held for 8-year-old daughter:

We brought her home and kept her in her room for three days surrounded by her beloved toys and pictures and stuffed animals. Her friends came to be with her one last time, and took as much time as they needed to say goodbye. Her teachers came to stroke her cheek. Her brothers, her aunt and uncles, her cousins, her babysitters, her grandparents could all be with her. We could all sit with her for hours if we chose, trying, trying to get used to the idea, trying to take it all in. This small and mighty child had led us through the valley of death, and an entire community experienced a brilliant light in the deepest darkness of loss and grief. It was terrible and beautiful (p. 3).

A home funeral provides a loving, beautiful and meaningful way of saying goodbye, unconstrained by the schedules of a church or mortuary. It also gives the surviving loved ones extra time adjust to the loss. A home funeral is also more cost efficient. An average traditional funeral costs anywhere from $3,500.00 to $7,000.00, while a home funeral and natural burial can cost less than $500.00.

A good comparison of the differences between the two kinds of funerals (home versus mortuary) was showcased in the March 2009 Smithsonian magazine in an article titled “The Surprising Satisfactions of a Home Funeral”.

Legal Rights to Home Funerals
Many people do not know is that it is legal for them to take their loved ones home (in their own car) and to keep them (if cooled) for a number of days. Currently home funeral is legal in 45 states. Also, many people do not realize that embalming is not mandatory for burial and that it is actually a dangerous toxin for the environment. (Read more on the benefits of Green Burial.)

Legally, you can take your own dead home with you as long as you get the proper permit for transporting, and follow approved procedures for cooling, and length of time before burial. Even a home burial is not illegal in some states and counties.

Home Burial
The state of Oregon is silent on this issue. Title 97.120(2) says it is actually up to each individual county as to the laws concerning home burial. Most counties ask for a certain acreage amount, a distance of at least 150’ from a water supply, and at least two feet of earth on top. Before burial, the person in charge must sign the burial-transit permit and return it within 10 days to the registration of the county in which the death occurred. The practice is generally discouraged because of the potential affect on the property value. Because the practice is not common yet, society is still uncomfortable with it. Neighbors might find it disturbing to watch someone bring a body home, hold a funeral in their home, and then bury the body in their yard. However, a number of planned “Green Burial Preserves” are currently in development throughout the country to fulfill the demand for natural burials.

REF:

Alexander, M. (2009) The Surprising Satisfactions of a Home Funeral. Smithsonian Magazine. Retrieved from: http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/Presence-of-Mind-Which-Way-Out.html

Knox, E. (2009) Crossings.

Knox, E. (1999). Resource Guide. A Manual for Home Funeral Care. Takoma Park, MD:
Crossings.

Oregon Mortuary and Cemetary Board (2009).

Roussell, J. O. (1999). Dealing with Grief: Theirs & Ours. New York: Alba House.

All content © Village Memorial. 2009-2010.

Alzheimer's: The Art of Losing

2010-02-20T02:05:00.000-08:00

I found Ruth L. Ozeki’s piece, "The Art of Losing: On Writing, Dying, & Mom," of special interest because my grandmother suffers from Alzheimer’s. I wanted to learn how others deal with such a long-term loss of one who slips away slowly over several years. Though my grandmother’s health in other aspects is not bad, the fact that she cannot recall names, faces, places or family history is a death of sorts. It is a death of memory. Somehow families must push through with the awareness that their loved one is no longer who they once were in healthier times. We must learn to love a new person who looks a great deal like the old person, but may or may not remember us from day to day. We must learn to not hold anger or resent their loss of memories we revere, but learn to appreciate new memories we can create while they are still with us. I felt Ozeki really proved how important this step is. Ozeki’s adaptability enabled her to build new memories with her mother and prepared her for her mother’s passing. Ozeki’s piece was an inspiration to any person dealing with a loved one suffering from Alzheimer’s.

Ruth Ozeki discusses writing the article “The Art of Losing: On Writing, Dying, & Mom” which she was asked to consider renaming to “The Art of Letting Go”. Ozeki thoughtfully considers the alteration in meaning via a poem by Elizabeth Bishop titled “One Art.” Ozeki describes the poem as “clearly…a case where ‘losing’ and ‘letting go’ are not interchangeable.” Ozeki highlights some differences between letting go and losing: “When I let go, I’m in control; when I lose, I’m not. Letting go is a willful act; losing, a violation of my will.”

Ozeki then discusses the traditions her family’s Japanese culture and the custom of sitting zazen during spiritual meditation. Her mother as a 2nd generation Japanese American had so much distance from her Japanese roots that she did not meditate in the zazen position and this prevented her from attending her grandmother’s funeral. Her inability to sit in the position would be “an embarrassment to the family,” Ozeki explains. At the funeral in Japan Ozeki explains another Japanese custom called “honewake” or “dividing the bones, which is often practiced when a person’s family lives in different places.” She returned from Japan with some bones of her grandmother, which she was to deliver to her mother. The experience inspired her to film a documentary called “Halving the Bones.”

Once Ozeki’s father died, she asked her mother with Alzheimer’s to come live with her in 1999. She cared for her mother until her death in late 2004, but reflects on some of the exchanges that took place between she and her mother during those five years. Once mother expressed concern that the washer and dryer in the guesthouse she lived in would prevent Ozeki from washing laundry once she died and Ozeki rented the guesthouse to another person. Ozeki settled the concern by jokingly confirming she would bury her mom with the washer and dryer so she could keep her clothes clean in heaven. When her mother turned 90 in May of 2004, her mom was in disbelief that she was 90. She said she felt forty and when Ozeki confirmed that even she was “older than forty,” her mother replied, “You are? That’s terrible!”

Ozeki then reflected on the differences in how she handled the deaths of her father and her mother. When her father died, she wasn’t ready for it. She held much anger at him for not preparing for it. She drank too much during the grieving process. However, the time she spent with her mom prepared them both for her mother’s death. “I wanted to keep my wits about me. I didn’t want to run away." She also encourages that people “write your loss” – “I spent ten years losing my mom, little by little, day by day, but during that time, I wrote books, letters, e-mails, blog postings, stories, journal entries, and poems…I’ve been turning loss into letting go.”

Reference:
Ozeki R. L. (2008). The Art of Losing: On Writing, Dying, & Mom. Shambhala Sun Magazine. Retrieved from:
http://www.shambhalasun.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=3186&Itemid=244
All content © Village Memorial. 2009-2010.

Independence vs. Assistance

2010-02-10T03:55:00.000-08:00

The elderly should be mindful of how much help they accept and caretakers should be cautious of offering too much help are the fundamentals of an idea called “wise independence”. Ruddick (1999) describes the idea of wise independence as “the capacity to plan and control one’s life, combined with the willingness to acknowledge one’s limitations and accept help in ways that are gratifying to the helper.” The elderly person and his or her caretaker should “create between them and for each other a workable balance between letting go and holding on, assertion and acceptance, intervention and letting be” (Ruddick, 1999).

A real risk exists when people let go of their independence to become too dependent on caregivers. Ruddick (1999) explains that, “a caring person should know that if she hovers and insists she may encourage in the person she cares for a despairing acquiescence that is as life-ending as the ‘fall’ she would prevent” (p. 58).

Clark (2003) experienced this situation with her mother who moved into a “nursing home for a few weeks rest.” Although her mother, in her late 70’s, had suffered debilitating arthritis for many years that was so bad that “she probably would have been confined to a wheelchair”, her independent life prevented it. Clark (2003) explained how “her [mother’s] need to do for other people was so great that she kept pushing herself, forcing activity on those aching joints willing them to function.” However, shortly after Clark’s mother entered the nursing home, she witnessed a drastic decline in her mother’s energy. Clark (2003) described that “as soon she began to take it easy, everything in her body slowed up…She could no longer take care of others” and she died a few weeks later.

A similar decline is occurring in an elderly relative who recently entered a retirement home. Pedro, who is in his mid 80’s, lived independently as a retiree without any caregiving assistance until two years ago when he suffered his first fall. Pedro. tripped over his rambunctious dog, Nero, and suffered a minor injury. Since then, Pedro began to accept the help of a caregiver. As Pedro began to increasingly rely upon his caregiver he did less for himself. He delegated errands, shopping, house care, yard care, and personal budgeting to his caregiver and thus began to require even more help until he moved into a retirement home in June this year. Since his arrival at the retirement home he has fallen multiple times. The last fall resulted in a broken elbow. He has since been hospitalized.

When Ruddick (1999) explains that “both living and caring well involve a changing process of adjusting, accepting and appreciating the living and caring that remains possible,” (p.58) I see how a lack of “wise independence” negatively affects the elderly. I believe that Pedro’s comfort level with caretakers just minutes away has led him to be less cautious when walking or moving about his apartment. In this sense, Pedro is becoming even more dependent on the caretakers and much less independent. I now fear for Pedro’s health, that it might decline even further now that he has no requirement to care for himself.

Wise independence is not merely just an encouraging idea; it is a vital component in the health and longevity of the elderly. Caregivers and the elderly must be mindful of the independence vs. assistance balance, so they do not create excessive vulnerability and dependence on the caregiver(s).

Reference:
Clark, M. H. (2003). Kitchen Privileges. New York: Simon & Schuster, Inc.
Ruddick, S. (1999). Virtues and Age. In M. U. Walker (Ed.), Mother Time. Women, Aging, and Ethics. (pp. 45-60). Lanham: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc.

All content © Village Memorial. 2009-2010.

Impairments = Missed Opportunities

2010-01-31T04:19:00.000-08:00

Reduced mobility creates hardships for seniors interacting with the world around them. When one experiences falls, broken hips, broken wrists, lower back pain and or a reduction in or cessation of driving, opportunities for interpersonal communications diminish.

My grandfather developed severe back pain brought on by a crushed disc in his lower back earlier this year. Lower back pain in the elderly is common, as a recent national survey proved that in “patients aged 75 and older…back pain is the third most frequently reported symptom” (Bressler, et. al., 1999). His back pain caused him trouble walking and difficulties rising from chairs, walking up stairs, walking to the phone, and getting in and out of vehicles. Additionally, just a few months prior, he suffered a fall that resulted in a broken wrist. The broken wrist reduced his ability to write and in combination with the loss of mobility from the lower back pain, he experienced a lack of communications with family and friends.

While the impairments in the ability to walk and write do not initially sound related to traditional communication barriers like hearing or vision losses, they have affected my grandfather’s ability to do many things related to interpersonal communication. He is no longer able to walk to the phone fast enough to answer it. When he finally does receive a phone call, he seldom holds the phone for long because of the pain in his wrist. When someone comes to his front door, he seldom makes his way across the house to open the door quickly enough. He no longer writes letters or sends birthday cards to friends and family. These impairments have led him to hire a caregiver to run errands for him, drive him and write out checks for him, though the caregiver’s assistance does not improve his communications with outside family, friends or society.

Further compounding the lack of communication that my grandfather experiences with avoiding calls and not writing, is the fact that he has ceased driving due to the lower back pain. Now that he must rely on the caregiver’s schedule for transportation, it has lessened his opportunities for outings and social interactions. “The older person who reduces or ceases driving bears the brunt of the changes that occur in terms of monetary, social, psychological, and emotional costs” (Burkhart, 2007). Knopp (2009) notes, that “isolation and loneliness experienced by nondriving seniors can result in deteriorated physical and mental health.” Plus, older drivers who generally drive on six outings per week usually reduce outings down to two per week when they become reliant on receiving rides from others (Burkhart, 2007). Hence by discontinuing driving, my grandfather has lost additional opportunities to engage socially with others outside his home.

Sadly, the number of seniors who do not drive is not as uncommon as one might think. “SCOPE, the community planning group, cites national research indicating that about 21 percent of Americans age 65 or older don't drive and that, on any given day, 50 percent are home-bound due to lack of transportation options” (Knopp, 2009).

Falls in the elderly are also not uncommon. Warshaw (2006) reports that “after age 85, over half of women will suffer a fall” while “31 percent in the 80- to 84-year age group” of men experience falls. The complications from falls include fractures of the hip, and forearm [or wrist] (Warshaw, 2006). Earlier this month, the Pope at age 82, fractured his wrist when he fell (B92.net, 2009). A good friend, Marie, who was in her mid-70’s when she fell on pavement broke both her wrist and hip. “Because bones become brittle with age, fractures are common among the elderly” (Joseph, 2008). Interestingly, Warsaw (2006) also points out that “after a few falls, some people become so frightened and anxious that they will not attempt to stand even when there is adequate help and support.” As people become afraid to stand or walk after falls, they are not likely to return to outings that require walking or standing which also decreases their opportunities for interpersonal communications with friends, family and society.

When Marie experienced the impairments of a fractured wrist and broken hip, I witnessed a loss in her interpersonal communications. Like my grandfather’s experience, Marie’s reduced mobility in walking and writing, resulted in her not taking telephone calls, seldom answering the door and the end of her writing to friends and family. Additionally, Marie had been a very social person before her accident and had engaged in many senior group tours overseas and spent much of her time out with friends shopping and dining out. Her reduced mobility led to the end of her overseas vacations as well as her social outings with friends.

When looking at the losses of mobility from back pain, falls, broken wrists and broken hips, compounded with the cessation of driving, it becomes clear that seniors and the elderly lose opportunities for social engagement as mobility is reduced and they become increasingly homebound. Thus, even impairments unrelated to hearing and sight can equal losses in interpersonal communications for seniors and the elderly.

References
Bressler, H., et. al. (1999, Sep., 1). The Prevalence of Low Back Pain in the Elderly: A Systematic Review of the Literature. Lippincott Williams & Wilkins, Inc. Retrieved from: http://journals.lww.com/spinejournal/pages/articleviewer.aspx?year=1999&issue=09010&article=00011&type=abstract

Burkhart, J. (2007, Jan. 30). Mobility Changes: Their Nature, Effects, and Meaning for Elders Who Reduce or Cease Driving. Ecosometrics Incorporated. Retrieved from: http://trb.metapress.com/content/dlk6vw1r15245554/

Joseph, T. (2008, July 28). Colles’ Wrist Fracture. Medicine Plus. Retrieved from: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000002.htm

Knopp, T. (2009, July 12). Nonprofit service helps seniors retain mobility. Herald Tribune. Retrieved from: http://www.heraldtribune.com/article/20090712/COLUMNIST/907121023/2080/OPINION?Title=Nonprofit-service-helps-seniors-retain-mobility.

Pope Falls and Suffers Broken Wrist. (2009, July 17). B92.net. Retrieved from: http://www.b92.net/eng/news/world-article.php?yyyy=2009&mm=07&dd=17&nav_id=60560

Warshaw, G. (2006, Apr. 10). Falls and the Elderly. University of Cincinnati. Netwellnes.org. Retrieved from: http://www.netwellness.org/healthtopics/aging/faq9.cfm

All content © Village Memorial. 2009-2010.

Selecting In-Home Caregivers

2010-01-16T02:33:00.000-08:00

Marion is in her 90’s. She lives alone, but is across the street from her son and his wife. Her children have hired many caregivers for Marion. However, Marion is never invited to interview or choose her caregivers. So, the result has been that Marion often goes without care because she frequently dislikes who has been selected to care for her and usually fires the person or drives them away with menial tasks unrelated to caregiving (i.e. pulling weeds). This has left Marion in an unsafe situation - without regular care.

Once when Marion was chosen a caregiver she got along well with, the benefits of good communication were obvious. Because Marion was instructing the caregiver in what she wanted and needed done, Marion was happier and more responsive during visits. The caregiver made sure she got up and dressed every day (as opposed to sleeping in bed all day in pajamas). She helped Marion to look presentable, even helping her to dye her hair red. Marion was eating regular meals, looking healthier and feeling better. She boasted how good it felt to have her back scrubbed during her bath. She stopped falling trying to use the restroom during the night (perhaps because she did not sleep all day, she had more opportunities to go during the day.) This caregiver contentedly worked with Marion for over a year until Marion’s son cut her hours back and she was forced to move on.

The lack of communication between Marion and her children has been a losing situation for Marion’s health and wellbeing. Marion does not communicate her wishes to her children because she feels they do not care (likely because she is never included in the decision making). Marion does communicate her concerns to her grandchildren, but they have no control over the finances, Medicaid, or care giving decisions.

As in-home care is highly personalized, communication is key. If a senior is of mental clarity and can communicate for herself, this is ideal. This gives the senior a voice and a decision in the administering of her own care. However, when family members step in and make decisions without the senior’s input or consideration, as Marion’s family did, this is highly destructive to the senior’s sense of independence, as well as the quality of care she receives.

A properly placed caregiver, sensitive to the client’s personal needs, would ensure better care and a greater longevity of caregivers. Simply working in firms that had high turnover rates, one gets a glimpse of the stress that training new people or adjusting to changes in staff creates. I cannot begin to imagine how just how stressful it would be to add a turnover in caregivers to dealing with one’s own personal disabilities or unattended needs. It cannot be healthy for seniors to deal with such turnover, which makes the initial proper placement such a vital step in the care giving process.

Benefits of In-Home Care
• Significant financial savings to seniors and Medicaid
• Staying in one’s own home is generally preferable to entering a retirement community.
• People tend not feel sick if they are cared for at home.
• People are able to maintain some forms of independence, as they address some of their own needs themselves or by delegating difficult tasks to an in-home caregiver.
• Seniors do not have to lose the community they have grown comfortable with.

All content © Village Memorial. 2009-2010.

Green Departures

2010-01-06T02:51:00.000-08:00

“Americans put 827,060 gallons of embalming fluid, 1,636,000 tons of reinforced concrete, 104,272 tons of steel [for caskets and vaults], 2,700 tons of copper and bronze, and 30 million board feet of hardwoods into the ground each year...the concrete alone…[is] enough to build 13,573 American houses.”
A growing trend is the practice green or natural burial, which compassionately cares for the deceased and protects the earth. However, this natural and safe method has been practiced for centuries.

Muslims wrap their dead in “white wrappings” and bury them directly onto the dirt of the grave (Jonker, 2006, p. 158). As Jonker (2006) explains, “No coffin is needed or wanted” (p. 158). The body is lowered into the grave “with shawls or lengths of cloth” and is “positioned as if sleeping” (Jonker, 2006, p. 158) with either a stone or pile of mud placed under the head for support (p. 158). The natural burial of the body in Islam (wrappings of just a shroud, no embalming and being placed directly in contact with the earth) allows for a more natural return to the earth. There is no use of unnecessary embalming fluid and coffin to slow the recycling of the body to the soil.

The Jews also bury directly in the ground, and do not allow interment in mausoleums “as this is not returning the body to the dust from whence it came” (Levine, 1997, p. 107). Additionally, like Islam, Judaism prohibits both cremation and embalming (Levine, 1997, p. 107). This law was designed to prevent destruction and or altering of the body, however it is also done for the compassion of the surviving loved ones (Levine, 1997, p. 107). Because “embalming…creates an illusion of life…[it] may hinder the bereaved from acknowledging the death of their loved one” (Levine, 1997, p. 108). These compassionate Jewish values honor the deceased, assist in the healing of loved ones and protect the planet.

Ecohumanist beliefs also support natural burial for the preservation of the planet. One of the principles shared on the Council for Secular Humanist (2009) is to “protect and enhance the earth, to preserve it for future generations, and to avoid inflicting needless suffering on other species.” When one considers all the pollution and waste from common contemporary burials (embalmed body in casket), one cannot ignore the significant and devastating effects upon the earth. Cullen (2006) presents some very startling statistics on contemporary burials.

“Americans put 827,060 gallons of embalming fluid, 1,636,000 tons of reinforced concrete, 104,272 tons of steel [for caskets and vaults], 2,700 tons of copper and bronze, and 30 million board feet of hardwoods into the ground each year...the concrete alone…[is] enough to build 13,573 American houses” (p. 52).

“Like the contents of any landfill, the embalmed body’s toxic cache escapes its host and eventually leaches into the environment, tainting surrounding soil and groundwaters” (Harris, 2007, p. 38). This happens because coffins are not leak-proof. Harris (2007) explains that the “combined body fluids, liquefied tissue, formaldehyde, bacteria, and corporeal acids…collect at the lowest spot of the casket, pooling in a…toxic soup” (p. 37). Wood caskets are porous offering minimal resistance to such toxic liquids, which can easily leak out (Harris, 2007, p. 37). While “metal caskets are more resilient…acids work to breach them as well” (Harris, 2007, p. 37). Cullen (2006) notes that green (natural) burials can “cut that waste [and pollution] dramatically” (p. 52).

Embalming and caskets are not only unnecessary, they are wasteful and harmful to the planet. Obviously the pollution of the earth and the waste of precious resources do not help to protect the purity or safety of our planet. Natural or green burials, as supported by Ecohumanists, are clearly the most ethical and compassionate methods of burial. They help protect the planet for future generations.

References:
Cullen, L. T. (2006). Remember Me. New York: Harper Collins.

Harris, M. (2007). Grave Matters. A Journey Through the Modern Funeral Industry to a Natural Way of Burial. New York: Scribner.

Jonker, G. (2006). The many facets of Islam: Death, dying and disposal between orthodox rule and historical conventon, in, C.M. Parkes, P. Laungani, & B. Young (Ed.), Death and Bereavement Across Cultures (pp. 98-130) London: Routledge.

Levine, E. (2006). Jewish Views and Customs on Death, in, C.M. Parkes, P. Laungani, & B. Young (Ed.), Death and Bereavement Across Cultures (pp. 98-130) London: Routledge.

The Affirmations of Humanism: A Statement of Principles. (2009). Council for Secular Humanism. Retrieved June 2, 2009, from: http://www.secularhumanism.org/index.php?section=main&page=affirmations
All content © Village Memorial. 2009-2010.

Dial-a-Ride Requires Good Communication

2009-12-30T04:15:00.000-08:00

Dial-a-Ride is just a phone call and short wait away from safe and reliable transportation service for many seniors who cannot drive. However, using dial-a-ride services depends on good communication by both parties. Seniors who call must be able to hear well and speak clearly. They must be able to remember addresses and names of locations of where they are traveling to and be able to communicate that information when asked. Operators and drivers for the dial-a-ride service must be able to listen patiently and speak clearly to seniors in order to ensure destinations and pick up locations are accurate.

A good senior friend, Marie, never drove anywhere, but depended on Dial-a-Ride for many years to run errands safely. She lived in LA County where public transportation was scarce and less reliable. Once when Marie called to be picked up and Dial-a-Ride recorded an incorrect address, she got mugged while waiting outside of a store. Her purse was snatched and she suffered a broken hip and wrist from hitting pavement when the mugger knocked her down. Had the communication between Marie and the dial-a-ride operator been better, perhaps Marie would not have suffered such a misfortune.

From what I was able to find through a quick search online, Dial-a-ride is available in many cities, counties and states throughout the US including: California (multiple cities), Phoenix, AZ., Illinois (multiple cities), Minnesota (multiple cities), Michigan (multiple cities), Florida (Charlotte County), New York (Tioga County), Fort Collins, CO, Oregon (multiple cities), Richland, WA, and many more.

Each city’s Dial-a-Ride has different restrictions, rules, operating hours and fees to use the service.

In Los Angeles, the ride for seniors and those with disabilities is only $0.75 one-way. Dial-a-Ride service runs 7 days a week. People do not have to pre-qualify or pre-register to use LA Dial-a-Ride services.
LA’s “Public Works provides dial-a-ride (paratransit) services that consist of curb-to-curb, demand response, dialaride services. Most of these are for the elderly and persons with disabilities who reside in unincorporated County areas…In most areas, Public Works provides these services by contracting with adjacent cities to include unincorporated County areas in the city's paratransit service.” (LAcounty.gov, 2009).

Bend, Oregon asks for an application to prove eligibility prior to service, and calling a day ahead to schedule a pick up. Bend’s Dial-a-Ride “provides service to low income seniors not living near a fixed Bend Area Transit (BAT) route” (City of Bend Oregon Website, 2009).

The Wilsonville “Dial-a-Ride is a SMART service providing curb-to-curb transportation for Wilsonville residents who are unable to use the fixed route service. Priority is given to Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) eligible customers… Eligibility to qualify for ADA level service must be certified by a medical professional” (RideSmart.com, 2009).

References:
LA County Dial-a-Ride: http://ladpw.org/PDD/Transit/Page_01.cfm

Bend, Oregon Dial-aRide: http://www.ci.bend.or.us/bend_area_transit/dial_a_ride/index.html

Wilsonville, Oregon Dial-a-Ride: http://www.ridesmart.com/Index.aspx?page=23

All content © Village Memorial. 2009-2010.

Intergenerational Communication

2009-12-16T02:34:00.000-08:00

Intergenerational relationships have added great value to my life. I have found each generation to be distinct and special in its own way, while each has its own lessons to teach. Hence, I would like to explore some of the differences I have observed in generational communication styles and the lessons that I have learned from them.

MTV Generation Perspective
My generation is “The MTV Generation” which is typically conceived as a "cusp" generation between Generation X and Generation Y that possess definable traits of both” (Wikipedia, 2009). From an MTV Generation (a.k.a. “Cold Y”) perspective, I find myself and age peers to be highly adaptable to new communication technology. This may stem from what Wikipedia describes as “being the last generation able to compare hardwired and analog technologies to wireless and digital technologies based upon personal experiences” (Wikipedia, 2009). Over the course of a few years we changed our methods of voice contact from dial phones to touch tone phones, from pagers, calling cards and pay phones to analog cell phones, then to digital cell phones. Desktop publishing and computers also evolved rapidly during our formative years. From electric typewriters we moved onto desktop computers that only provided non-online functions. Then we discovered Internet connectivity at local libraries, then dial-up Internet at home, then DSL, cable internet, wireless internet via laptop and now wireless internet anywhere via cell phone. The rapid development of changes in communication forced us to adapt quickly and move with current technology to conveniently stay in touch with friends and family. We learned to adapt in order to maneuver through the multitude of technological advances.

Generation X
While my Generation X friends are merely a few years older, I have found them to be considerably less comfortable with cellular phones, computers and the internet (including email) and they tend to use them less. They rely on the Internet less for communication and instead use it for less important activities like shopping, travel and entertainment. They seem less comfortable with online banking services like bill pay, and many still use paper checks. Most of my Generation X friends also keep a landline phone in addition to their cell phones, contrary to myself and other MTV generation friends that keep only a cellular phone line. Generation X friends have seemed more reluctant to trust online and wireless communications explicitly. While they have been willing to explore new communication technologies, they refuse to give up on the old, traditional and reliable communication methods they grew up with (land lines, handwritten communications, fax machines and snail mail).

Many of my Generation X friends have large numbers of friends, more than I could ever hope to amass in a lifetime. They often make time for frequent personal gatherings and truly value spending face-to-face time with their friends and families. By comparison, my MTV Generation peers and I seem to have less friends, usually with just a handful of very close friends, and we seldom make the time to gather in general, let alone in large groups.

Baby Boomer Generation
My baby boomer friends and family have been some of the best listeners I know. They are less judgmental and have always looked to help me to work through my problems or put things in a different perspective for me. They have offered suggestions and advice but not to the point of diminishing my problems, or making my experiences seem inconsequential. They usually make suggestions that are befitting of my lifestyle, personality and interests. The discussions I’ve had with my baby boomer friends and family have felt both meaningful and significant. We nearly always lose track of time in our lengthy, entertaining and fulfilling conversations.

While my baby boomer friends and family have mostly kept up with current technology (computers and cell phones), they are similar to Generation X in their preference to also maintain old methods of communication with fax lines, land lines and snail mail.

Silent Generation a.k.a. Traditionalists
My friends and family from the “Silent Generation” (a.k.a. "Traditionalists") tend to be more opinionated than my Baby Boomer and Generation X pals. Silent Generation friends and family sometimes seem more self-involved and perhaps a little less interested in listening to others. They tend to love sharing their own stories, which can be extremely interesting, but conversations can border on feeling one-sided at times if they run on for a while.

Silent Generation friends and family sometimes tend to diminish or entirely skip over my concerns or issues, especially when comparing them to their own experiences. When this happens, my discussions with Silent Generation pals have often felt lengthier to me. I have also noticed that Silent Generation friends and family often make suggestions or advise in ways that tend to be more befitting of how they personally would react or handle the situation.

However, at the same time, I’ve noticed that the Silent Generation has been the most devout to their family and friends. They have tended to bend over backwards for relatives and friends, and seem always willing to go the extra mile for them, often willing to drop everything to help someone they care about, even if it puts them at some risk.

For communications technologies, my Silent Generation friends and family have been the most open to learning new technologies. They use cell phones and computers, though they at times need help navigating them. Some have given up landlines, while others have not. Overall, they have been open to assistance, ask questions, and are willing to take classes.

Greatest Generation (a.k.a. G.I. Generation)
My Greatest Generation friends and family have been the most opinionated of all the generations I’ve interacted with. The have been strong willed, with viewpoints that cannot be swayed and are not afraid to say so. They know the value of money and spend it wisely. My Greatest Generation friends and family have been most generous with their time and extremely helpful to younger generations. They seldom ask for help, and are less willing to discuss personal matters which Baby Boomers, Generation X and MTV generation are more open with (i.e. medical conditions, wages, romantic relationships). I have found the Greatest Generation more willing to share advice or personal beliefs than personal information.

Unfortunately, most of my Greatest Generation friends and family are less savvy with current communication technologies. While some have cell phones and computers, few can use them well. Many times I’ve been hung up on while greatest generation family members have tried to maneuver through call waiting. A few I know have only an emergency pay-per-use cell phone (one that is not under contract.) Most of them keep using landlines in addition to cell phones, and rely on paper banking and handwritten communications.

Conclusion
Each generation has handled communication differently. Each generation’s approach is valuable in its own way. My Greatest Generation friends and family have taught me the value of being there for younger generations, for holding true to one’s beliefs and for being cautious with spending money. My Traditionalist friends and family have shown me the value of loyalty to loved ones, being willing to learn new things, and the importance of sharing stories with future generations. My Baby Boomer friends have taught me the importance of listening, of sharing new perspectives and being nonjudgmental. My Generation X friends have shown me the value in maintaining relationships and making time to gather with friends and family.

I am grateful for all of the intergenerational relationships I have had over my lifetime thus far. I shall look forward to maintaining current and building new intergenerational relationships as opportunities arise.

Reference:
List of Generations. (2009). Wikimedia Foundation Inc. Retrieved from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_generations

All content © Village Memorial. 2009-2010.

Ordinary Events Make Memories Too

2009-12-05T00:15:00.000-08:00

I recently found and washed an old black and white comforter my grandmother bought me back when I was in school. Although the black portion of the blanket has now faded to gray from too many washes and it still contains a medium cobalt blue stain from the time I spilled nail polish on the bed, I refuse to get rid of it.

The blanket now represents my memory of an event that will never take place again. My grandmother and I had shopped together to select and purchase the blanket; an outing I no longer even see as a remote possibility. Of all the photos, perfumes and memorable items I’ve collected in efforts to salvage my memories of my grandmother before she is gone, this is the only item I have that represents an activity we shared together.

We seldom value the errands we share with our loved ones. Things as trivial as buying a blanket at the mall or shopping for groceries are no doubt less memorable than a holiday celebration or a family dinner. Yet sometimes such trivialities are all that we have left of our time together. We should cherish any time we share with those special people in our lives, however we spend it – it may be all the time we get.

All content © Village Memorial. 2009-2010.

Transitions: Retirement

2009-11-29T04:13:00.000-08:00

Retirement is a difficult transition for seniors to adjust to. It is a stage of life in which most aspects of an individual’s life change. Income, social networks, social status, time management and sense of utility or purpose all change (Donovan, 2008). Thus, the transition into retirement requires personal adjustments on multiple levels.

According to retirement coach, Donovan (2008), the five main benefits one obtains through full time work: the paycheck, time management, sense of utility or purpose, status, socialization, are essential to recreate after retirement. “Part of the planning for a vital retirement involves finding replacements for each of these five benefits” (Donovan, 2008). Also affecting the adjustment into retirement life are “activities with friends and family, feelings about rest and tranquility, and activities that fill up free time” (Nussbaum, et. al., 2000, p. 123).

The unique part about retirement as a stage of life is that it lacks the vital elements and expectations that provide fulfillment during the other stages of life. According to Walker (1999):

Youth, adulthood, and old age fit us for the school, the workplace and retirement...But retirement, unlike school and workplace is not a place. It is not an activity like education or work, nor a role defined by the development of skills or exercise of competence, like that of a student or worker. Retirement is defined instead as the cessation of the adult role of worker (p.104).

Retirement is not a destination nor is it an achievement on its own. The cessation of expectations for growing, learning and working into later life can have negative effects on individuals.

As Bartky (1999) explains, “I have seen the effects of professional obsolescence on older men in my profession” (p. 63). When her dissertation adviser retired she says, “he died shortly after” (Bartky, 1999, p. 63).

As seniors transition into retirement, one must consider the “importance of an individual’s social network” (Nussbaum, et. al., 2000, p. 117). The people whom the individual feels close to or comfortable around during his working years are the same people he will wish to spend time with during retirement and this can be a problem “for elderly people, whose close social network may no longer be living” (Nussbaum, et. al., 2000, p. 118). Equally disrupting to the adjustment to retirement is the loss of one’s social network through a post-retirement move. Seniors often choose move to locations that provide a warmer climate, although “the adjustment to retirement is often made easier by the support of families and friends” (Nussbaum, et. al., 2000, p. 123). When one moves to a new community, one loses vital support networks and must build new friendship networks or face isolation (Nussbaum, et. al., 2000, p. 123). As individuals lose friends or acquaintances through retirement, relocation, or death, there is a risk of social isolation if the individual does not find new opportunities to meet people.

For couples, the transition into retirement is additionally complicated. Bloir (2007) describes how the adjustment of retired couples takes time. They will first experience a short honeymoon phase with things running smoothly. However, when reality sets in, the excitement will wane and as Bloir (2007) explains it, “many [couples] find they’re not quite as excited about the prospect of being a senior citizen or ‘stuck’ with each other.” Spouses might feel the other is getting in the way. Such issues are compounded when the retirement was not taken voluntarily. However, as couples take on new tasks, hobbies, and interests, Bloir (2007) insists that “communication is essential.” Bloir (2007) suggests that couples remain open and honest in a loving way, about “ideas, opinions, likes, and dislikes” because, “a few minutes of heated discussion is better than weeks of repressed anger and resentment.” Couples can survive the adjustment into retirement with considerate communication and by engaging in both common and separate interests that help generate a new sense of purpose and meaning.

Activities of leisure can open up new possibilities for interpersonal communication among retired seniors, hence assisting the adjustment to retirement life. Nussbaum, et. al. (2000) explores three activities of leisure that can be completely enriching interpersonal experiences: “television, playing poker, and learning about computers” (p. 119). Television provides individuals with current events to discuss. Poker provides a group environment in which the players can have ample opportunity to interact. “The entire context of the poker environment is social” (Nussbaum, et. al., 2000, p. 119). Computer courses allow additional opportunities for communication as individuals share information and help one another. Computer courses also give individuals a chance to discuss information with others outside their class. As Nussbaum, et. al. (2000) explains, their familiarity with computers gives them “practical skills and conversational skills…[that] can lead to intergenerational relationships” (p. 119). Plus, the improvement of seniors’ abilities in computer literacy can improve social status, allow seniors to “remain connected with their larger social development and to develop new relationships with those who have similar interests” (Nussbaum, et. al., 2000, p. 120). Thus, through activities that on the surface appear quite casual, seniors can find abundant opportunities to improve communications and find fulfillment during their post-working years.

Bartky, S. L. (1999). Unplanned Obsolescence: Some Reflections on Aging. In M. U. Walker (Ed.), Mother Time. Women, Aging, and Ethics. (pp. 61-74). Lanham: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc.

Bloir, K. (2007, October 8). "Honey, I'm Home!" - For Good: The Transition to Retirement. Ohio State University. Retrieved July 9, 2009, from http://ohioline.osu.edu/hyg-fact/5000/5159.html

Donovan, J. H. (2008, October 3). Coaching: Transition into retirement. Keys to success in the next part of your journey. BizTimes.com. Retrieved July 10, 2009 from: http://www.biztimes.com/news/2008/10/3/coaching-transition-into-retirement

Nussbaum, J. F., Pecchioni, L. L., Robinson, J. D., & Thompson T. L.. (2000). Communication and Aging. (2nd ed.). London: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates Publishers.

Walker, M. U. (1999). Getting Out of Line: Alternatives to Life As a Career. In M. U. Walker (Ed.), Mother Time. Women, Aging, and Ethics. (pp. 97-111). Lanham: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc.

All content © Village Memorial. 2009-2010.

Social Support for Seniors

2009-11-16T02:36:00.000-08:00

“No matter what age they are, all human beings strive to be close to other human beings” (B). For seniors, the closeness and communications they share within a social support network results in many benefits. “The literature demonstrates a consistent association between well-being and social networks in old age” (C).

Family communication plays a notable role in the health of seniors. “Intergenerational family relations seem to be of special relevance in their contribution to health and well-being of older family members. Key features of intergenerational relationships include association, help, and support” (C). The helping and caregiving behaviors towards parents by adult children have been shown to be a result of life-span attachment theory according to Cicirelli (B). The increased attachment of adult children to their elderly parents as they age enhances the detection of the parent’s needs for help and “increases the likelihood that help will be given” (B).

Although elderly parents oftentimes receive help by their adult children, help is likely mutual between parent and child. While parents have given “more services and money to their children throughout their life…children give more emotional support, household help, and care during illness” (B). Of the help that elderly parents provide, Nussbaum, (2000) notes that “housekeeping, babysitting, food preparation, and help with finances” are the most common (B). However, this assistance wanes around the time when the parent reaches 75 years in age when the children begin to give more assistance than they receive in return (B).

Perhaps the emotional support, assistance and care during illness, by children of elderly parents, helps explain what the studies have indicated - that childless elderly people are less satisfied with family life (B). “Childless widows had lower overall well-being and were more lonely and dissatisfied with their lives than were widows with grown children” (B). Personally I have noticed that widows who are childless face additional hardships when their independence is affected. When a good elderly friend of mine became ill and could no longer tend to personal errands, the fact that she was childless compounded her troubles by forcing her to pay for things her children might have provided (in home assistance, deliveries of food and or rides to appointments).

Nussbaum (2000) mentions that “one of the most important aspects of the affective nature of the parent-adult child relationship is that closeness in this long-standing relationship provides a sense of continuity as the parent and child manage transitions in their lives” (B). This closeness offers emotional support for both parent and child as “they help each other through” stressful events and other adjustments (B). Widowhood is one life adjustment when widows and widowers have found their families to be most helpful. As women’s friendships are more “companionate, rather than comforting,” “widows find their friends helpful” but “not strong contributors to support systems” (B). Relatives of widows and widowers “give socioemotional assurance, financial aid and provide a source of identity” and more often accept their “frailties and vulnerabilities” (B), further proving that family closeness provides a level of support that is far superior to other relationships in seniors’ lives.

The health of seniors is deeply affected by communicative relationships as they “seem to influence how quickly they get well” once they become ill (B). For seniors without a strong social support system, “the difficult changes that many…face—such as the death of a spouse or medical problems—can lead to depression” (A). Fortunately, findings indicate that 34% of widows and widowers receive help from family or their support network (B). However, for seniors who live alone a strong support network may not be as readily available to them. A 2004 study indicated that, “living alone was…related to decreased levels of both perceived social support and feeling lonely after adjustment for potential confounders” (D). Yeh and Lo (2004) also note that a “lack of social support is common among the elderly community who live alone, which could well be a main reason for this group to feel lonely.” The fact that, “loneliness is linked to physical and mental health problems, [makes] increasing social support and facilitating friendships” vital for seniors (D).

Clearly, the benefits seniors obtain from close relationships with family and friends cannot be diminished. Family communication encourages much needed assistance and support for seniors during difficult times or when faced with health issues. However, prior to age 75 seniors offer a great deal of the assistance to their children. For seniors who live alone they might find it more difficult to build or maintain a strong social support network, which may help to explain why some childless seniors find less satisfaction with life than do seniors with adult children.

References:

(A) Depression in Older Adults and the Elderly - Recognizing the Signs and Getting Help. (2009). HelpGuide.org. Retrieved from: http://helpguide.org/mental/depression_elderly.htm

(B) Nussbaum, J. F., Pecchioni, L. L., Robinson, J. D., Thompson, T. L. (2000) Aging and the Family: Relational Lifestyle Changes. In Communication and Aging (2nd ed.). (pp.177,192-195,232)Mahwah: Lawrence Erlbaum Publishers.

(C) Tesch-Romer, C., Motel-Klingebiel A., von Kondratowitz H. J. (2002). Importance of family for quality of life of the elderly in a social and cultural comparison. NCBI PubMed. Retrieved from: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12426880

(D) Yeh, Shu-Chuan Jennifer, Lo, Sing Kai. (2004). Social Behavior and Personality. FindArticles.com. Retrieved from: http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa3852/is_200401/ai_n9404648/
All content © Village Memorial. 2009-2010.

The Whales of August

2009-11-08T02:12:00.000-08:00

Having recently been catching up on the long, historic career of Bette Davis, I was looking forward to watching one of her last films, “The Whales of August.” In the film, Bette Davis and Lillian Gish play elderly sisters. Bette’s character, “Libby” is blind and her sister “Sarah” (Lillian Gish) cares for her and maintains the home they share.

This film shed a very positive light on aging. Seniors were depicted as independent and able to care for themselves. They helped each other instead of relying on younger friends, family or caregivers. I wish I saw more of this in television and advertising. The only other media depiction of seniors I’ve seen that comes close is the “Golden Girls” where the women support each other through life’s events. However, even one of the characters on the Golden Girls, (Sofia), is cared for by a younger, though senior aged, daughter.

“The Whales of August” depicts seniors as active (walking, cleaning, cooking, maintaining health and wellbeing, visiting friends, paining oil paintings and arranging flowers). The characters blend their past, present and futures in healthy ways as they hold onto and honor traditions, but still find enjoyment the present and find future events to look forward to.

What was also notably different in this film was the way the characters embraced aging. Blind Libby asks her sister if her hair was as white as a swan. When her sister says she believes it is, Libby comments that she’d always had beautiful hair. I cannot recall any film or media character embracing age so gracefully. The two sisters in the film also dressed up for company and took great pride in the care of their hair. They did not complain about their age, appearance, or life. While I do not see this as being realistic for many, as many people have real problems to contend with, I do see it as a model for enjoying life.

By not focusing on the negatives (not once does Libby complain she is blind or cannot see what others are discussing - photos, jewelry, flowers, ocean view), there is more time to focus on the positives or approach things a new way. For instance, blind Libby is able to feel the flowers, jewelry, or sunshine, and hear a description of the photographs. She even agrees to the installation of a picture window in their living room, though she won’t be able to see out of it herself. She comments on how nice the day feels by the warmth of the sun coming in through the window. Libby depicts a woman who is perfectly content with these filtered observations, and I imagine the lesson to viewers is to enjoy interacting with others regardless and not feel sorry for oneself.

Anderson, L. (Director), Berry, D. (Writer). (1987). The Whales of August. [DVD]. USA: MGM.

All content © Village Memorial 2009-2010.

H1N1 Flu & Cold Remedy Spices

2009-10-20T02:00:00.000-07:00

Fall is here, and so is the flu season. With H1N1 flu activity increasing all around us, building up the immune system is vital. To protect your health and the health of others you love, be sure to incorporate as many of these bacteria inhibiting spices into your diet as possible.

All content © Village Memorial. 2009-2010.

Crone Energy: A Traveler

2009-10-01T04:11:00.000-07:00

I met Mrs. S on a flight to Los Angeles last December. She was heading to visit her son and daughter-in-law for the holidays. As retired widow, Mrs. S spent much of her free time traveling. She’d been to more countries than I can recall, but listed some in Africa, Europe, Asia and South America, just to name a few. Her last trip had been to take her granddaughter on a cruise to the Netherlands. (She made a point to take one of her children or grandchildren on nearly each of the trips she made.) Although, she usually traveled with friends. Their rule was to go to as many countries as possible and whenever someone asked why they'd gone someplace unusual, they replied, “Because we’ve been everywhere else.”

Besides travel, Mrs. S’s calendar was full with activities and personal hobbies:

She was in the process of building a large family historical cookbook database.
Refusing to watch commercials, she recorded all her favorite television programs on TiVo so she could watch them later and forward through the ads.
She was also working on filling up her new Ipod with music – a free gift she got from opening a new account at her bank.
She was a speed-reader and could read several books in one sitting.
She used a travel points credit card and got many of her flights for free (including the one I met her on.)
She loved to cook, but as she lived alone, she made use of the large meals by breaking them into smaller portions and freezing them for later meals.
She ran a birthday club in her hometown.
On top of all this she made time to meet friends and dine, attend musicals or plays, films and concerts.

Mrs. S was truly an inspiration to me. She was more vital and active than most younger people I know. She maintained close relationships, good health, hobbies, and still found time to travel. She was intellectual, clever and kept up with current technology, including making the most of financial rewards and incentives programs. I can only aspire to be as well rounded as Mrs. S. She is a role model for life in general as well as an inspiration for living when I reach her age. I can only hope that I will find myself as well balanced and vital as her when I am in my 80’s.

All content © Village Memorial. 2009-2010.

Musings on Growing Older

2009-09-30T02:31:00.000-07:00

Valerie Harper (2001) opens her book with some American perceptions on aging and women’s beauty. She mentions the invisible “shelf life” on women in the media as “ageism is practiced by the networks” to the point of being unrealistic. “If life imitated television…mom would be thirty, and grandma would be thirty-three” (p. 10-11).

Harper mentions a couple positive ways in which American beauty standards have changed over the last few decades. “Flight attendants now look like America,” Harper says, as they are no longer bound to 1940’s era rules of being “single, female, white, under age twenty-seven, between 105 and 125 pounds, and between 5 feet 2 inches and 5 feet seven inches” (p. 24). Sizes of dresses for women have also lowered. What used to be a size 10 is currently a size 8 or 6.

Harper touches on the extremes women go through to maintain beauty (hot waxing, breast implants, lip plumping), and the ridiculousness of dieting (diet fibs, beating oneself up mentally, and diet fads). She easily sums up the mind of many dieters when she says, “many of us think of food in one of two ways. It’s either legal (a lettuce leaf) or illegal (a brownie)” (p. 84). She makes a personal realization of overeating, “I…came to the understanding that the problems I once had with food were not merely about food Eating was a way of trying to fill up the emptiness, to provide comfort” (p. 88).

Harper moves on to role models for women. She mentions FLASH (“a senior woman’s hockey team in Chicago”), Gloria Steinem’s first marriage at the age of 66, and actress Ruth Gordon’s remarkable attitude on growing older (p. 95). Ruth once told Valerie, “I made a decision…that I could get old, or I could get older. That was my choice. I didn’t have the choice to stay young. I decided to get older instead of getting old. Because old is a destination. Older is a process and a path” (p. 95-96). Harper also quotes actress Sophia Loren, “There is a fountain of youth. It is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of the people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age” (p. 155).

Harper also explores the power of positive thinking with her chapter on “humor replacement therapy.” Humor has been shown to reduce stress, raise your pain threshold, and boost your immune system. In one study, people listening to twenty minutes of [comedienne] Lily Tomlin doing her telephone operator routine were much less sensitive to pain than those listening to an academic lecture” (p. 132). She points out some favorite comics she follows online “MinniePauz.com”(p. 139) and leads out of her book with some additional encouragement. “Wouldn’t it be great if we didn’t care so much what other people thought of us?” (p.144) “Wouldn’t it be great if looking good wasn’t tied up with looking young?” (p. 144).
-----
Always curious on new attitudes on aging, I was interested in to read actress Valerie Harper’s views as she entered her sixties. This book focuses on the positives of life and aging, of looking at life in a more confident way, and not putting oneself down. It lightheartedly addresses some of the darker or more comical things in our American beauty standards, but without putting people down who engage in such practices. It asks questions without accusing and reminds me a great deal of author/poet Judith Viorst’s poems on aging which approach aging with a touch of humor that is more positive than negative.

Harper, V. (2001). Today I am a Ma’am, And Other Musings on Life, Beauty, and Growing Older. New York: Cliff Street Books.

All content © Village Memorial. 2009-2010.

A Wedding in ICU

2009-09-19T02:27:00.000-07:00

A couple marries in the ICU room of UCLA medical center, so the bride’s father, recovering from surgery, could be present.

UCLA says this was a first in the medical center’s history. To protect the patient from infection, the wedding participants wore “disposable yellow hospital gowns over their wedding finery and blue protective gloves” (Groves, 2009).

The bride, Janette Villalobos, didn’t want her father to miss her special moment. She said, “I'd be heartbroken if my dad didn't see it" (Groves, 2009).

Ref:
Groves, M. (2009). Hospital Wedding has a Different Ring to it. LA Times. Retrieved from: http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/world/afghanistan/la-me-wedding13-2009sep13,0,2177698.story

Seniors & Communication - 4 Important Issues

2009-09-01T04:09:00.000-07:00

Medical Needs Must Be Communicated
Mr. S., an artist in his 80s, kept communicating to a friend a plaguing pain he was dealing with. Although Mr. S had seen his doctor for other issues he only communicated his current problem to a close friend, never his doctor. Finally, when he became too ill to ignore his problems, he went to ER and it turned out that he had an advanced stage of prostate cancer. Had Mr. S. communicated to his physician earlier of the pain he was experiencing his condition might have been curable.

When seniors do not communicate their issues and concerns to the health professionals treating them, they do not get the proper care they need. This results in less productive office visits, which in turn would likely end up costing them more (financially and health wise) as they might require additional follow up appointments to diagnose problems and if a condition were serious it might not be as treatable upon later diagnosis.

Physical Impairments Preventing Communication = Depression
The National Institute of Mental Health has proved the “relationship between hearing loss and depression” due to the social isolation the impairment causes. Additionally, I would add another couple impairments to this list: walking and writing.

Mrs. R, a good friend and elderly neighbor in her late 70’s, fell on pavement. Her fall resulted in a break of her right wrist and hip. She discontinued writing letters (because of her broken wrist) and shopping, eating out, or getting together with friends (because her walking was impaired by the accident.) It was even a chore for her to walk to answer her telephone. Although her body seemed to have healed several months later, she never returned to writing friends and family from out of state, she seldom answered telephone calls, and she gave up walking to do her own errands (shopping, bank, Laundromat). A once vital and independent person became socially withdrawn and very depressed once she no longer was able to communicate and perform the tasks she once had.

Lack of Communication With Regard to Government Benefits/Programs
It has been proven that “many retirees are not receiving an appropriate level of care or are ending up in nursing homes because they don’t know about services that would have allowed them to remain independent.” On the flip side of this, some seniors might not even be aware of programs or services that can help them afford retirement/assisted living homes, by significantly reducing their financial burden.

Mr. P, a WWII vet who recently moved into a retirement home, found he could benefit from Veteran’s Assistance when he was choosing his retirement home. The small 1-bedroom apartment in the transitional retirement to assisted living facility would have cost he and his wife $4,000 a month. However, because the home communicated the veteran’s discount to him, and provided him the necessary paperwork to fill out, he was able to register for a discount program that cut his monthly rent at the retirement home by 50%. For his $4,000 rental, he pays $2,000. For seniors living on fixed incomes, a financial saving of this proportion is crucial.

Senior Suicides and Mental Health Issues
It was most startling to learn of the number of suicides that take place among the senior population. While their percent of the population is just at 13.7%, they still make up “at least 25-30 percent of all successful suicides.” It is interesting and disturbing, how few senior suicides are brought to the attention of the public. Most news sources focus on suicides up through middle-aged adults. I actually cannot recall having heard of senior suicides before, other than in cases of the terminally ill where the individual chose when to end their life and suffering. This fact is one that should be communicated to society more widely. Without proper knowledge of issues such as senior addictions, senior mental health impairments and senior suicide rates, less attention is being paid to the very individuals who would benefit from the attention most.

All content © Village Memorial. 2009-2010.

APS, Family Rights & Challenges

2009-08-15T02:08:00.000-07:00

The recent hospitalization of my grandfather led me to make an emergency trip to San Diego to check on his well-being. When I arrived I found my grandfather unable to walk, eat or swallow. He was somewhat confused, though he did say he had not seen my grandmother for several days. I tried to locate my grandmother, but could not find her. After checking with the charge nurse at her nursing home facility, I was informed that my grandfather’s power of attorney, filed eight years ago, gave him legal rights to authorize a dubious caregiver to remove my grandmother from the retirement facility and relocate her to the caregiver’s home. Apparently despite the recent decline in my grandfather’s physical and mental health, the power of attorney still held legal precedence. My lack of power of attorney or a conservatorship over my grandparents, restricted the police from acting on my request to remove my grandmother from the caregiver’s custody or terminate the caregiver. The police could only perform a “welfare check” and recommend that I contact Adult Protective Services (APS) for further assistance.

Adult Protective Services, in California, is an agency that helps seniors of 65 years and older and dependent or disabled adults between the ages of 18 to 64. On the California Department of Social Services it breaks down the assistance provided by each agency: APS assists when seniors or disabled adults are “unable to meet their own needs, or are victims of abuse, neglect or exploitation”. APS investigates abuse of elders or dependent adults in “private homes and hotels or hospitals and health clinics when the abuser is not a staff member”. The California Department of Aging is responsible for investigating abuse that takes place in nursing homes, board and care homes, residential and long term care facilities. The California Department of Health Services “handles cases of abuse by a member of a hospital or health clinic.” The APS evaluates “abuse cases and arranges for services such as advocacy, counseling, money management, out-of-home placement, or conservatorship” as well as providing information, referrals to other agencies and public education of “Elder and Dependent Adult Abuse Reporting laws.” The services of APS are available to all regardless of income level (CDSS, 2007).

When I called the San Diego County APS on Saturday, I was dismayed to get their answering service, which informed me that their business hours were weekdays only from 8am to 5pm. I did however find a form on their website called “SOC 341,” a “Report of Suspected Dependent Adult/Elder Abuse.” The “SOC 341” form has sections to be filled out for information on the victim, suspected abuser, and reporting party (along with an option to waive confidentiality to specific parties or all). The form asks for incident information and designates two types of abuse categories. The category “Perpetrated by Others” offers a checklist for abuses of assault/battery, constraint or deprivation, sexual assault, chemical restraint, over/under medication, neglect, financial, abandonment, isolation, abduction or other. The category “Self-Neglect” offers a checklist for abuses of physical care, medical care, health and safety hazards, malnutrition/dehydration and other. The next section, “Abuse Resulted in”, has check box options for physical injury, death, mental suffering, minor medical care, hospitalization, care provider required or other. The last five sections ask about the reporter’s observations, targeted accounts, other people believed to have knowledge of abuse, others responsible for victim’s care, and report information.

While I was impressed with the depth of information that the APS form requires, I was displeased with the inability to contact APS on the weekend. The fact that my grandmother was in the custody of an untrustworthy caretaker, who was responsible for the disappearance of my grandfather’s car and miscellaneous valuables from their home including jewelry, antiques and furniture, led me to investigate a conservatorship further. Similar to guardianship of a minor, “a person under conservatorship is…a protected person” (Wikimedia, 2009). “A conservatorship can be set up after a judge decides that a person (called the "conservatee") can't take care of themselves or their finances. Then the judge chooses another person or organization (called the "conservator") to be in charge of the conservatee's care or finances, or both” (California Courts, 2009). My mother, now seeking a conservatorship of my grandparents, has to submit addresses of several relatives for notification. Both my grandfather and grandmother will be interviewed by social workers and my mother’s background will be investigated to consider her for the conservatorship.

At present financial abuse of the elderly is on the rise since the economy has collapsed. As seniors “usually have steady income -- Social Security and sometimes pension checks”, they are targeted in turbulent economic times. Although people generally consider “financial abuse…[as] phony investment schemes or Internet scams…attorneys say just as common are instances of exploitation perpetrated by a loved one or friend”. The most usual suspects of financial abuse are “in this order -- family, caretakers and new best friends”. Protecting seniors proves difficult if they have given authorization to bank accounts or signed over a power of attorney to the abuser. Without a power of attorney or conservatorship held by a trusted family member or friend, seniors continue to remain at risk.

While it is commendable to have an agency devoted specifically to the protection of seniors and disabled adults, APS needs to be available like other emergency services – 24 hours a day. APS should also work to make the public fully aware that without the legal action of a power of attorney or conservatorship, families will not be able to protect their loved ones.

References

Adult Protective services (APS). (2007). California Department of Social Services (CDSS). Retrieved from: http://www.cdss.ca.gov/agedblinddisabled/PG1298.htm

Conservatorship. (2009). Wikimedia Foundation Inc. Retrieved from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conservatorship

Duties of a Conservator. (2009). California Courts Self-Help Center. Retrieved from:
http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/selfhelp/seniors/duties.htm

Jun, C. (2009, July 27). Financial abuse of elderly rises as economy sinks. The Detroit News. Retrieved from: http://www.detnews.com/article/20090727/METRO/907270338/1409/METRO

SOC 341. (2006). Report of Suspected Dependent Adult/Elder Abuse. State of California. Health and Human Services Agency. Retrieved from: http://www.dss.cahwnet.gov/cdssweb/entres/forms/English/SOC341.pdf

All content © Village Memorial. 2009-2010.

Bad Marketing to Seniors

2009-08-14T02:28:00.000-07:00

Walker discusses advertising campaigns that include what he describes as “Hilarious Old People.” He recalls the lovable Clara from the “Where’s the Beef?” commercials, and notes that the amusing elder archetype has been in low demand in recent years. He believes this might be related to the growing number of “mature consumers who happen to have money to spend and don’t think of themselves as (barely) living punch lines” (Walker, 2003).

Walker then focuses in detail on two commercials produced by “Boost Mobile.” Both commercials use minority Americans speaking slang. Both commercials are followed with the condescending tagline: “Designed for young people. But it’s just more fun showing old people.” Walker explains, “These ads are saying: ‘Oh, stop feeling guilty and just admit it: Old people are funny!’"

I was interested in Walker’s piece because as an infrequent watcher of television, I recently witnessed some stereotypical jokes and comments on seniors that took place on an episode of the 1974 series “Rhoda”. On episode 10 of season 1, title character “Rhoda” and her new husband “Joe” are given the gift of a honeymoon cruise. The comedic part is that the cruise also happens to be hosting a senior citizens convention.

Some of the ageist jokes at the expense of seniors included:
• An emcee addressing the cruise crowd as: “Ladies and Geritol – and there’s plenty of it in this room.”
• An onboard doctor who quips that the boat should have a red cross painted on the side of it. (He even takes anyone’s pulse that he finds sleeping, because he never knows.)
• A convention workshop on Polydent.
• A senior lady whose line gets loud audience laughs when she tells 30-something aged “Joe” during a dance: “Let me know if you get tired.”

Sadly, as Walker’s article on seniors in advertising highlights, seniors have not come very far in their depictions on screen. However, Walker is inaccurate in his claim that this is a returning phenomena, which implies that it stopped or slowed. Seniors have continued (if we begin counting forward from this 1974 episode) for over 3 decades to be portrayed as comedic archetypes. Though, I would like to make note of the fact that I clearly recall senior comedic archetypes appearing as far back as in 1950's episodes of "I Love Lucy."

It is difficult to believe this trend of “hilarious old people” continues when one considers how many boomers are set to become seniors over the next couple of decades. Only the companies with the highest integrity, offering consumers the best value for their money, delivering fantastic and engaging storytelling will successfully grab the senior market.

Walker, R. (2003). The Return of Hilarious Old People. Ads That Make Fun of the Elderly. Slate Magazine. Retrieved from: http://www.slate.com/id/2083463/

Rafkin, A. (Director), Banta, G. (Writer), Nardo, P. (Writer), Burns, A., (Creator), Brooks, J. L. (Creator). (1974). Rhoda: Season One. [DVD]. USA: Shout Factory.

All content © Village Memorial. 2009-2010.

Library Services for Seniors

2009-08-01T04:07:00.000-07:00

The Washington Country Library System in Oregon offers a service called “Homebound: Books-by-Mail Service.” Their website states: “For homebound, elderly and disabled people, a good book can be as important as a good friend.” Through this free program patrons are mailed “large print, standard print, books-on-tape, magazines, cassettes and videos” with a return postage label.

One patron who commented on the service said, “Thank you for the kindness you always showed to my mother... You took the time to listen to her. She looked forward to the books and movies, but more than that she knew she could call you and you would treat her like a person that mattered.” Many other patrons who reviewed this service thanked the library for their kindness, for prompt responses to requests and for the improvement in their quality of life.

The library is listening to senior/disabled patrons, fulfilling their requests and paying attention to their specific needs by offering media in appropriate formats (i.e. large print or audio). This service has opened a door for the homebound elderly and disabled to enjoy reading, hearing or viewing books and media they value.

Reference:
http://www.wccls.org/library_services/homebound/index.html

All content © Village Memorial. 2009-2010.

Reviews: PERS (Personal Emergency Response System)

2009-07-20T02:55:00.000-07:00

A friend recently purchased a medical alert system (or Personal Emergency Response System – PERS) for her grandmother. She made her decision by the monthly cost and equipment fees.

Fate Care reviewed 8 companies (AlarmCare, AlertOne, Life Alert, LifeCall (aka Connect America), LifeLine, LifeLink, LifeStation and MedScope America and chose 3 based on overall costs and service contract lengths. VIEW THE FULL REPORT HERE.

LifeStation offers
• $29.95 Monthly Fee
• NO contract
• NO set up or installation fees
• Large customer base (1,600,000 customers)
• 30-Day Trial

AlertOne offers
• $29.95 Monthly Fee
• NO contract
• NO set up or installation fees
• Free Equipment (present sale offers $80 worth of equipment for free)
• 30-Day Trial

LifeLink offers
• NO monthly service fee
• NO contract
• A one-time set up & equipment charge of $199 (present sale is $199, usually costs $289)

This report was generated on July 20, 2009.
FateCare.com is not affiliated with any of the above companies, nor does it endorse these companies.
Need more information to help make a decision?
VIEW THE FULL REPORT HERE.

All content © Village Memorial. 2009-2010.

Age Limits in Golf

2009-07-16T04:04:00.000-07:00

With all of the excitement following Tom Watson’s last chance (at age 59) to win at the British Open (that restricts players age 60+) last weekend, FateCare decided to investigate what sounded like an incredibly ageist agenda.

FateCare looked at three specific questions 1) are age limits in golf common, 2) what are the health benefits to playing golf, and 3) is golf any less beneficial or even dangerous to senior players?

1. Age limits in golf are not common.

• “The British Open is the only major that sets an age limit for its champions” (Ferguson, 2009).
• Augusta National “announced an age limit of 65 this decade” (Ferguson, 2009), but never imposed the limit.
• The Masters lets players decide when to stop. (Ferguson, 2009)
• The PGA Championship claims no limit, but seldom has “champions over 50 compete” (Ferguson, 2009).

2. Golf promotes several health benefits.

• Golf requires cardiovascular exercise that promotes a healthier heart and lower cholesterol (Think-Golf, 2006). If a player walks, instead of using a golf cart, he can end up walking “several miles around the course” which can be up to 3 to 5 miles of walking in an 18-hole game. (GoGolfNW.com, 2009).

• The weight bearing exercises associated with golf, when practiced “two to three times a week can create long, lean muscle mass, which helps support a strong skeleton” (Think-Golf, 2006). The swinging of clubs and putting “help tone muscles in the arms, back and shoulders. It may also improve flexibility and range of motion. Golf also helps to strengthen hand-eye coordination and balance. It can be a great way for older players to remain spry and active in a low-impact way” (GoGolfNW.com, 2009).

• Vitamin D is produced when one spends time out in the sunshine. “Vitamin [D] is essential for strong bones, it regulates the amount of calcium and phosphorus in the blood. Vitamin D also helps regulate the growth of skin cells” (Think-Golf, 2006).

• Golf also allows players to engage in social interaction “spending time with friends and other players and engaging in conversation” (GoGolfNW.com, 2009).

• Golf is also useful in behavioral therapy of Alzheimer's patients. By giving Alzheimer's patients "an activity that once brought about true pleasure...their minds can clear, and memories related to that activity can return" (Futterman, 2009). Activities like golf have proven "helpful in both making people with dementia feel competent and generating periods of lucidity" (Futterman, 2009).

3. Golf is less beneficial to seniors in Vitamin D production and creates risk for injuries if participation is unsafe.

“Studies have shown that as we age, we tend to produce less vitamin D even with adequate sun exposure” (Benefits of Vitamin D, 2009), further supporting the need for supplementation. Vitamin D plays a key role in human longevity “the risk of death from all-cause mortality may increase by 26 percent due to inadequate vitamin D” (Archives of Internal Medicine, 2008).

Golf can be of risk to seniors when participation is unsafe.

Although playing golf provides a moderate intensity exercise stimulus for seniors, musculoskeletal injuries can also result from unsafe participation, as can the aggravation of pre-existing musculoskeletal problems. Strategies for targeted management of the senior golfer's typical concerns are summarized into 4 categories consisting of: injury rehabilitation coordinated by therapists, warm up routines; club-fitting/coaching on proper technique, and pre-season conditioning programs. (Cann, et. al., 2005).

Summary

Golf is beneficial and safe for seniors when played according to proper techniques. Of course before beginning with any new physical activity program, one should consult with their physician first.

Reference:
Cann AP, Vandervoort AA and Lindsay DM. (2005). Graduate Program in Rehabilitation Sciences. University of Western Ontario. Retrieved from: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16386170

Explore the Health Benefits of Golf. (2009, June 29.) GoGolfNW.com. Retrieved from: http://www.gogolfnw.com/stories/2009/jun/29/explore-health-benefits-golf/

Ferguson, D. (2009, July 20). British Open age limits could bar Tom Watson after 2010. Detroit Free Press. Retrieved from: http://www.freep.com/article/20090720/SPORTS15/90720037/-1/RSS07

Five Health Benefits of Golf. (2006, Nov. 22). Think-golf.info. Retrieved from:
http://www.think-golf.info/archives/87/five-health-benefits-of-golf/

Futterman, M. (2009, Apr. 16). Memories Slip, but Golf Is Forever. Alzheimer's Patients Perk Up On Outings to the Greens. The Wall Street Journal. Retrieved from: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123914598587898813.html

Healthy Heart Beats. (2008). Department of Food Science and Human Nutrition. Colorado State University. Retrieved from: http://www.ext.colostate.edu/pubs/healthyheart/0810-12a.html#vitd

The Benefits of Vitamin D. (2009, Apr. 15). Health.learninginfo.org. Retrieved from: http://health.learninginfo.org/benefits_vitamind.htm

All content © Village Memorial. 2009-2010.